Seedling

A memory misplaced,
a time easily forgotten,
when childhood seemed never-ending,
and adulthood far on the horizon.

I was six, wearing anklets made of pink hearts,
my Grandpa, a mentor and survivor of history,
took me out to look at trees.

We tied a yellow ribbon around a seedling,
saying "we will watch you grow."
We did.

Until I grew older and took my anklets off,
until I grew older and started driving cars
until I grew older and forgot about the Fir.

-Which was also growing-

Perhaps it shed the ribbon,
perhaps it grew too high to recall where it was rooted.
Now, it is in a forest of tall trees among its peers.

Still special and remembered.

How could I have so easily forgotten?

Autumn

Today was the first day of fall. The best season IN THE WORLD!

I was driving home late at night and leaves mysteriously rolled around on the ground. A perfect Halloween-esque night. Oh yes. I cannot wait to bust out the scarves, sweaters, and other autumny items.

Goodness.

Puke

This morning my husband decided to lay out his cleansing pills on our bedside table. In theory, good idea. In reality bad idea.

Our dog, Sophie, enjoys eating things off tables. Well unbeknownst to me, she deicded to eat the cleansing pill under my nose.

After she ate the pill I decided to get up and get ready for the work day. Well, after I fed Sophie her two cups of puppy chow, I started to eat my breakfast. I finish and clean up the dishes. Things are seemingly quite usual and banal.

Heading for the bedroom, I pass by the living room where Sophie's food had piled up in a half masticated, undigested lump of foamy puke.

How wonderful.

I bet everyone enjoys cleaning up vomit at eight in the morning.

Park City Adventures

Park City, UT is about a half an hour away from our home. So, naturally we decided to spend our anniversary there. It is in the mountains, and a quaint town very reminiscent of my dear PDX, OR. And it is the hoity toity part of Utah. I'm talking Robert Redford owned restaurants, the ski clubs for movie stars and of course, even the 7-11 has a rustic outfitting. Not kidding.

We stayed in one of the villas of the Marriott which was as big as our house... But our friend works there so we paid about what someone would pay for a one night stay in a regular hotel room. But we stayed there for two nights and three days.

The first night we were mostly in the hotel room doing things, checking out the whirlpool bathtub, hanging out by the fireplace and cuddling. Maybe some other things... Then we were asleep at 9pm and woke up a half an hour later asking ourselves why we were falling asleep. So, we went out to Doolans Sports Bar and got a Long Island Ice Tea and a Midori sour for me. Of course the kitchen was closed, so we drank and ran next door to Butchers Chophouse and got a huge platter of steak fries and a rum and coke for me.. Then we just walked around and went back to the hotel room satisfied with our adventures.

Saturday morning we woke up refreshed and ready for the day. We had breakfast at Atticus coffeehouse which was totally amazing. I had a latte with an everything bagel that housed a tomato and sprouts. It was very similar to Powell's bookstore, save for the novelty. However I purchased this absolutely coffee mug. That's my thing. I buy cute coffee mugs to have an eclectic collection of my favorite things.

Then after Atticus we explored. We hopped on this ski lift which had an amazing view of P.C. and we got totally sunburned. I have a water blister now from where I baked like a honey ham.
After the ride we went for lunch at some sort of cheap Mexican place on the boardwalk. It was tasty. And then we headed back for an adventure. One of our wholesallers is located out in P.C. so I decided to pay a visit and we got some candy. I got these French looking lozenges that were probably made in China or somewhere.

Then we went back to the hotel and stayed in for awhile. Until our dinner reservation at Chez Betty. Our dinner was so delicious. We had a four course dinner with a different wine pairing per plate. Except I hate cheesecake which was dessert. Also there was a dollop of sour cream on the bison. I hate sour cream. Goodness gracious! After that we went to the hotel room.

Sunday morning we walked around the farmer's market and we had breakfast at Easy Street which was the best biscuits and gravy I had in town. Then we headed back home


Now here I am at home.

Annie-very-sorry.... (anniversary)

This Sunday will be our one year anniversary. I can't believe I've been married to the most wonderful man in the universe for one whole year.


Time has gone by so fast. And yet I feel like it's been ages since we were married.

For our celebration we're going up to Park City and staying in a wonderful hotel. We're going to eat delicious hoity-toity food and drink hoity-toity wine.

I plan on doing window shopping, because there's no way the world we can afford to actually buy anything there except for the essentials, food, wine, shoes, dresses etc. Just kidding. We can't afford to do anything but window shop. But it's too much fun anyway. Window shopping allows the freedom that comes with knowing there's no way in a horse's rectum that one can buy anything. So then looking at the $1,000 pair of stilletos seems more hilarious than if one goes into the store hoping to buy something.

I play little games while window shopping. I make mental notes of the top three items and then mock all the other lesser items. It's better than a movie.

Anyway, I'm just so excited for some time away to just cuddle and the spend the night in each others arms.

No fetus in my womb

So we are not pregnant. Thank goodness.

However, I was starting to get prepared for it and when we found out not I was a little sad.

Just being honest.

Future

So my husband and I bought a car yesterday. For the first time in my life I had to think not only about my future but about my family's. When we were looking at cars, I wanted one that we could grow in. Having kids in the car, growing a family.

Honestly, it was a bit bizarre being practical about these changes. I couldn't get a cute car and was small and blue because I needed room for our future children. Isn't that insane? Actually planning for a family future.

That's what old people do. But at one point in time they planned for a family and future. It's just my time now, and it's a little strange.

Anyway it's a 2010 Hyundai Sonata! But at a used car price and that's pretty darn amazing. It's black, a four door with all the bells and whistles that I didn't even know existed.

My 20 year old car, a 1991 Honda Accord, had nothing except AC and a tape deck. Literally. So know that I have airbags, anti-lock brakes, power window things on the arm rest. How convenient! It's pretty amazing.

Anyway I got all moved into my (our) new car and now someone needs to buy our old one. Hopefully a used car dealer just to take it off our hands.

Monopolizing Your Time

Instances of Idiocy:

Not in any particular order.

1. old man calling his fanny pack a purse.
2. a customer who refuses to believe that the woman I replaced hasn't worked there for over a year despite my replies to her orders as "from Angie"
3. A jerk guy who invades my desk territory.

Things that have happened:

1. watched "Four Rooms" Taratino and didn't like it. Save for a couple of scenes.
2. We get to check out cars. We can finally afford a new car! Because mine is unreliable and 20 years old.

3. My husband has shown me the WB wonder of Smallville.

Slightly Disappointing

Today I found out that I didn't even get an interview with the prep academy that I applied. I figured, oh well, I thought that they wouldn't call me anyway (why would they when they could hire someone who is already certified yet less awesome than myself).

But there is always a chance for another position.

Good times.

I Dream of Teaching.

Last night I had a bizarre dream. I dreamed that I was a teacher for this group of high school kids. I was teaching them Shel Silverstein for some reason and they had to write a S.S.-esque poem on their own. One kid, a very bright young fellow, wrote about a tree and he threw some alliteration in there and I was astounded. I said,

"You know that's called alliteration?"
"Yeah, that's why I did it" he replied.

He was my favorite student because it was smart and entertaining. The teacher in the room with me really liked me because I was in the ARL program and the best co-teacher that she had. Yeah, it was an awesome dream.

I actually felt like I was making a difference. It was pretty amazing. But then I woke up.

Perhaps someday that dream will be a reality.

Waiting for peace,
something hidden or purposely forgotten,
we all know the feeling.
And what do we hear?
"knowing is half the battle"
picking up swords of courage,
lassoing arrowheads of fear.

The tears you had shed previously,
grew up sunflowers.

Peace, another man made Ponzi scheme.
Where the wind that carries my raging river thoughts away
profits.

Peace, Peace, they say...

Yet I know, that it.
might only come in droplets of victorious memory.



Ae Kent

The Prep Academy and Other Insecurities

This blog will be highly emotional. So just a warning to those who don't want to read crap.

So, two things going on in my life.

1. I have little faith that I can find a teaching job in 18 months.
2. I have cramps and my chest hurts everyday.

Okay, divulging into the depths of my thoughts.

1. I do English good... haha. just kidding. There's these prep academies that look amazing to teach at. But they are all an hour away. There is nothing offered near where I live. The places I have applied at over a week ago haven't called back. Places that wanted immediate employment haven't called me. So it seems as though I wasn't exactly their top pick. Who would want to hire someone that doesn't hold credentials.
I am insecure that I can't find a job in that time frame.

2. That is that.

The Spider Uprising Part Two (D.O.A)

All the friends and all the family of the all the spiders that I have killed or contracted out to kill are coming for to carry me home.

Oh yes, sweet Justice and her mysterious ways, Karma, as others would say, has reared her ugly head towards my precious one...

Last night as I was heating running shower water out the facet to get it at the correct temperature for my body, I swiped my hand under the stream. Out popped a HUGE spider and I screamed at the top of my lungs and my poor husband rushed in like a bat out of hell to help his helpless woman. Yes, it was exactly like that..

Then today as I was starting to write this blog I was distracted with a clothes pin at work (please don't ask why there's a clothes pin at a chocolate factory)and it flew out of my hand and hit the floor.

Well, as I traced where it landed, only a couple of inches from me I noticed a small thing scurry away! It was ANOTHER FRIGGIN SPIDER!

I cannot help but scream at the little devil and I left my desk. I think he was coming in for an attack.

There must be some sort of spider KGB out to kill me..

Haphazard Working Environment Stresses the Fetus Out

There are some days that are so amazing in the beginning and I think, "man, what could go wrong? I have my favorite latte in hand (bonus points that it didn't spill in my car or on my pants, the sun is shining and there's not a lot of stress at work today."

Well, drama decides to hit work as ugly hits an ape... For privacy I cannot say what exactly.

Then I realize that I've broken the fax machine. Perfect..
Oh, then I accidently overcharged a customer 34 clams...
Oh, yeah, then I realize... Wait, in the midst of everything going on, my latte just became cold.

The last drops are supposed to be like heaven entering my mouth, or a fetus rolling around in the warm placenta.. You know, the last drop is supposed to be such a wonderful feeling. But not when it's cold!

What's new... Life, what are you doing to do next?

BTW: I am not pregnant if you thought this title implied it.

Just a few things to do in Orlando

Here is a mock list of a few attractions you might want to see if you are ever in Orlando. I mean if you don't want to spend $80.00 + at the theme parks.


1. The Titanic Experience $21.00
- The gist is that you go onto a ship that will inevitably sink whilst
taking on the persona of a corpse from this famous tragedy. Who will
you be? The dowdy dishwasher? The haphazardly waterlogged scullery
maid? Regardless of the nature of the name printed on your
authenticated ticket, you and a lucky guest will be given a before an
after tour of the burgeoning barge of unsightly misfortune.After which
time you can sample the delicacies of doom at the restaurant, or
perhaps backstroke your way through the harrowing waters to the gift
shop. Here you can purchase wonderful memorabilia including t-shirts
reading: I brought my own life jacket; BYOB; Life preservers? We don't
need no stinking life-preservers...; RIP: LEO... (Well this is what the
description should say anyway)

2. The Holy Land Experience $30.00
- Strap on your gladiator sandals (thank the Lord they came back in
fashion right?) ladies and gentleman whilst you sample the dusty lands
of centuries old Jerusalem. This Divinely inspired experience
transports you back to the days of nasty smelling camels, and bad dates
as you maneuver your way through the promise land. Entertain thoughts
of penitence and supplication as you marvel at the mystical spires of
the renowned Holy Temple. Rest your tired feet at the Mary Magdalen
Foot and Holy Pool spa as your munch on the finest Mediterranean
cuisine at our very own Martha's. Later quench your thirst at the Water
to Winery while you sit in our camel back chairs and listen to the
trumpets. Amidst the blazing trumpeters, be amazed at the Miraculous Miracles Second Coming Firework
Bonanza. For no more than a beggar woman's mite, who wouldn't want to
render $30.00 to Cesar and enjoy this fabulous tribute?

Sophie's Underwear Fetish

This morning started out completely normal. I got up around 7am and made my way to the bathroom. Along the way I took out my clothes for this morning; a shirt, a bra, pants, and underwear.

I placed these items on the cold tile floor of the bathroom as I got things ready to take a nice hot shower.

After the shower I got out, dried off and went to get dressed.

Bra, check. Shirt, check. Underwear... underwear? UNDERWEAR! I knew I put it in here. Whatever. Maybe in my early morning grog I probably just forgot it.

I get our of the bathroom and I made my way into the living room. There my underwear was. Sitting in all their torn glory.

Sophie took them from the clothes pile and she torn them in two pieces.

So then I decided she needed to wear her mistake and all day she wore theunderwear around her neck in a sort of perverted necklace.

What a perv...