Take a sit down break with me for a moment.
What is today? Today is Saturday the 30th.
Is it Halloween? By Jove no tis not! SUNDAY is the 31st.
So, I guess it's just a Mormon thing, the sacrosanct Sunday syndrome. Don't get me wrong here I firmly believe in not working Sundays and taking the day off, (although in college I worked 7 days a week)but tell me this: How is handing out candy to little kids on Sunday work?
I've heard it called "Excessive Recreation." It would make sense to me if doing it on a Sunday was faux pas because Halloween has evil undertones and witchcraft secular blah blah blah, but seriously, don't label it as something that one cannot fully expound to a non-believer. What constitutes as Excessive Recreation? Oh certainly not skiing, not grocery shopping, not going to the park. Take a piece of chalk and draw a line somewhere otherwise you'll be going everywhere.
Okay, so maybe the kids get to go out twice today and tomorrow (THE REAL HALLOWEEN) Cool, I can handle that. BUT--
HALLOWEEN IS THE 31ST AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT.
Don't get me started about not lighting off fireworks on the 4th of July but waiting until the 5th or doing it a day early.
Wait, remind me again what day did we get our Independence? Oh right, it was the 4th. Not the 3rd, not the 5th.
I lit off fireworks anyway.
I will give out candy today (because all kids need to make a haul on HAULOWEEN!)and tomorrow, the real Halloween.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
Seedling
A memory misplaced,
a time easily forgotten,
when childhood seemed never-ending,
and adulthood far on the horizon.
I was six, wearing anklets made of pink hearts,
my Grandpa, a mentor and survivor of history,
took me out to look at trees.
We tied a yellow ribbon around a seedling,
saying "we will watch you grow."
We did.
Until I grew older and took my anklets off,
until I grew older and started driving cars
until I grew older and forgot about the Fir.
-Which was also growing-
Perhaps it shed the ribbon,
perhaps it grew too high to recall where it was rooted.
Now, it is in a forest of tall trees among its peers.
Still special and remembered.
How could I have so easily forgotten?
a time easily forgotten,
when childhood seemed never-ending,
and adulthood far on the horizon.
I was six, wearing anklets made of pink hearts,
my Grandpa, a mentor and survivor of history,
took me out to look at trees.
We tied a yellow ribbon around a seedling,
saying "we will watch you grow."
We did.
Until I grew older and took my anklets off,
until I grew older and started driving cars
until I grew older and forgot about the Fir.
-Which was also growing-
Perhaps it shed the ribbon,
perhaps it grew too high to recall where it was rooted.
Now, it is in a forest of tall trees among its peers.
Still special and remembered.
How could I have so easily forgotten?
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Autumn
Today was the first day of fall. The best season IN THE WORLD!
I was driving home late at night and leaves mysteriously rolled around on the ground. A perfect Halloween-esque night. Oh yes. I cannot wait to bust out the scarves, sweaters, and other autumny items.
Goodness.
I was driving home late at night and leaves mysteriously rolled around on the ground. A perfect Halloween-esque night. Oh yes. I cannot wait to bust out the scarves, sweaters, and other autumny items.
Goodness.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Puke
This morning my husband decided to lay out his cleansing pills on our bedside table. In theory, good idea. In reality bad idea.
Our dog, Sophie, enjoys eating things off tables. Well unbeknownst to me, she deicded to eat the cleansing pill under my nose.
After she ate the pill I decided to get up and get ready for the work day. Well, after I fed Sophie her two cups of puppy chow, I started to eat my breakfast. I finish and clean up the dishes. Things are seemingly quite usual and banal.
Heading for the bedroom, I pass by the living room where Sophie's food had piled up in a half masticated, undigested lump of foamy puke.
How wonderful.
I bet everyone enjoys cleaning up vomit at eight in the morning.
Our dog, Sophie, enjoys eating things off tables. Well unbeknownst to me, she deicded to eat the cleansing pill under my nose.
After she ate the pill I decided to get up and get ready for the work day. Well, after I fed Sophie her two cups of puppy chow, I started to eat my breakfast. I finish and clean up the dishes. Things are seemingly quite usual and banal.
Heading for the bedroom, I pass by the living room where Sophie's food had piled up in a half masticated, undigested lump of foamy puke.
How wonderful.
I bet everyone enjoys cleaning up vomit at eight in the morning.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Park City Adventures
Park City, UT is about a half an hour away from our home. So, naturally we decided to spend our anniversary there. It is in the mountains, and a quaint town very reminiscent of my dear PDX, OR. And it is the hoity toity part of Utah. I'm talking Robert Redford owned restaurants, the ski clubs for movie stars and of course, even the 7-11 has a rustic outfitting. Not kidding.
We stayed in one of the villas of the Marriott which was as big as our house... But our friend works there so we paid about what someone would pay for a one night stay in a regular hotel room. But we stayed there for two nights and three days.
The first night we were mostly in the hotel room doing things, checking out the whirlpool bathtub, hanging out by the fireplace and cuddling. Maybe some other things... Then we were asleep at 9pm and woke up a half an hour later asking ourselves why we were falling asleep. So, we went out to Doolans Sports Bar and got a Long Island Ice Tea and a Midori sour for me. Of course the kitchen was closed, so we drank and ran next door to Butchers Chophouse and got a huge platter of steak fries and a rum and coke for me.. Then we just walked around and went back to the hotel room satisfied with our adventures.
Saturday morning we woke up refreshed and ready for the day. We had breakfast at Atticus coffeehouse which was totally amazing. I had a latte with an everything bagel that housed a tomato and sprouts. It was very similar to Powell's bookstore, save for the novelty. However I purchased this absolutely coffee mug. That's my thing. I buy cute coffee mugs to have an eclectic collection of my favorite things.
Then after Atticus we explored. We hopped on this ski lift which had an amazing view of P.C. and we got totally sunburned. I have a water blister now from where I baked like a honey ham.
After the ride we went for lunch at some sort of cheap Mexican place on the boardwalk. It was tasty. And then we headed back for an adventure. One of our wholesallers is located out in P.C. so I decided to pay a visit and we got some candy. I got these French looking lozenges that were probably made in China or somewhere.
Then we went back to the hotel and stayed in for awhile. Until our dinner reservation at Chez Betty. Our dinner was so delicious. We had a four course dinner with a different wine pairing per plate. Except I hate cheesecake which was dessert. Also there was a dollop of sour cream on the bison. I hate sour cream. Goodness gracious! After that we went to the hotel room.
Sunday morning we walked around the farmer's market and we had breakfast at Easy Street which was the best biscuits and gravy I had in town. Then we headed back home
Now here I am at home.
We stayed in one of the villas of the Marriott which was as big as our house... But our friend works there so we paid about what someone would pay for a one night stay in a regular hotel room. But we stayed there for two nights and three days.
The first night we were mostly in the hotel room doing things, checking out the whirlpool bathtub, hanging out by the fireplace and cuddling. Maybe some other things... Then we were asleep at 9pm and woke up a half an hour later asking ourselves why we were falling asleep. So, we went out to Doolans Sports Bar and got a Long Island Ice Tea and a Midori sour for me. Of course the kitchen was closed, so we drank and ran next door to Butchers Chophouse and got a huge platter of steak fries and a rum and coke for me.. Then we just walked around and went back to the hotel room satisfied with our adventures.
Saturday morning we woke up refreshed and ready for the day. We had breakfast at Atticus coffeehouse which was totally amazing. I had a latte with an everything bagel that housed a tomato and sprouts. It was very similar to Powell's bookstore, save for the novelty. However I purchased this absolutely coffee mug. That's my thing. I buy cute coffee mugs to have an eclectic collection of my favorite things.
Then after Atticus we explored. We hopped on this ski lift which had an amazing view of P.C. and we got totally sunburned. I have a water blister now from where I baked like a honey ham.
After the ride we went for lunch at some sort of cheap Mexican place on the boardwalk. It was tasty. And then we headed back for an adventure. One of our wholesallers is located out in P.C. so I decided to pay a visit and we got some candy. I got these French looking lozenges that were probably made in China or somewhere.
Then we went back to the hotel and stayed in for awhile. Until our dinner reservation at Chez Betty. Our dinner was so delicious. We had a four course dinner with a different wine pairing per plate. Except I hate cheesecake which was dessert. Also there was a dollop of sour cream on the bison. I hate sour cream. Goodness gracious! After that we went to the hotel room.
Sunday morning we walked around the farmer's market and we had breakfast at Easy Street which was the best biscuits and gravy I had in town. Then we headed back home
Now here I am at home.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Annie-very-sorry.... (anniversary)
This Sunday will be our one year anniversary. I can't believe I've been married to the most wonderful man in the universe for one whole year.
Time has gone by so fast. And yet I feel like it's been ages since we were married.
For our celebration we're going up to Park City and staying in a wonderful hotel. We're going to eat delicious hoity-toity food and drink hoity-toity wine.
I plan on doing window shopping, because there's no way the world we can afford to actually buy anything there except for the essentials, food, wine, shoes, dresses etc. Just kidding. We can't afford to do anything but window shop. But it's too much fun anyway. Window shopping allows the freedom that comes with knowing there's no way in a horse's rectum that one can buy anything. So then looking at the $1,000 pair of stilletos seems more hilarious than if one goes into the store hoping to buy something.
I play little games while window shopping. I make mental notes of the top three items and then mock all the other lesser items. It's better than a movie.
Anyway, I'm just so excited for some time away to just cuddle and the spend the night in each others arms.
Time has gone by so fast. And yet I feel like it's been ages since we were married.
For our celebration we're going up to Park City and staying in a wonderful hotel. We're going to eat delicious hoity-toity food and drink hoity-toity wine.
I plan on doing window shopping, because there's no way the world we can afford to actually buy anything there except for the essentials, food, wine, shoes, dresses etc. Just kidding. We can't afford to do anything but window shop. But it's too much fun anyway. Window shopping allows the freedom that comes with knowing there's no way in a horse's rectum that one can buy anything. So then looking at the $1,000 pair of stilletos seems more hilarious than if one goes into the store hoping to buy something.
I play little games while window shopping. I make mental notes of the top three items and then mock all the other lesser items. It's better than a movie.
Anyway, I'm just so excited for some time away to just cuddle and the spend the night in each others arms.
Monday, September 13, 2010
No fetus in my womb
So we are not pregnant. Thank goodness.
However, I was starting to get prepared for it and when we found out not I was a little sad.
Just being honest.
However, I was starting to get prepared for it and when we found out not I was a little sad.
Just being honest.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Future
So my husband and I bought a car yesterday. For the first time in my life I had to think not only about my future but about my family's. When we were looking at cars, I wanted one that we could grow in. Having kids in the car, growing a family.
Honestly, it was a bit bizarre being practical about these changes. I couldn't get a cute car and was small and blue because I needed room for our future children. Isn't that insane? Actually planning for a family future.
That's what old people do. But at one point in time they planned for a family and future. It's just my time now, and it's a little strange.
Anyway it's a 2010 Hyundai Sonata! But at a used car price and that's pretty darn amazing. It's black, a four door with all the bells and whistles that I didn't even know existed.
My 20 year old car, a 1991 Honda Accord, had nothing except AC and a tape deck. Literally. So know that I have airbags, anti-lock brakes, power window things on the arm rest. How convenient! It's pretty amazing.
Anyway I got all moved into my (our) new car and now someone needs to buy our old one. Hopefully a used car dealer just to take it off our hands.
Honestly, it was a bit bizarre being practical about these changes. I couldn't get a cute car and was small and blue because I needed room for our future children. Isn't that insane? Actually planning for a family future.
That's what old people do. But at one point in time they planned for a family and future. It's just my time now, and it's a little strange.
Anyway it's a 2010 Hyundai Sonata! But at a used car price and that's pretty darn amazing. It's black, a four door with all the bells and whistles that I didn't even know existed.
My 20 year old car, a 1991 Honda Accord, had nothing except AC and a tape deck. Literally. So know that I have airbags, anti-lock brakes, power window things on the arm rest. How convenient! It's pretty amazing.
Anyway I got all moved into my (our) new car and now someone needs to buy our old one. Hopefully a used car dealer just to take it off our hands.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Monopolizing Your Time
Instances of Idiocy:
Not in any particular order.
1. old man calling his fanny pack a purse.
2. a customer who refuses to believe that the woman I replaced hasn't worked there for over a year despite my replies to her orders as "from Angie"
3. A jerk guy who invades my desk territory.
Things that have happened:
1. watched "Four Rooms" Taratino and didn't like it. Save for a couple of scenes.
2. We get to check out cars. We can finally afford a new car! Because mine is unreliable and 20 years old.
3. My husband has shown me the WB wonder of Smallville.
Not in any particular order.
1. old man calling his fanny pack a purse.
2. a customer who refuses to believe that the woman I replaced hasn't worked there for over a year despite my replies to her orders as "from Angie"
3. A jerk guy who invades my desk territory.
Things that have happened:
1. watched "Four Rooms" Taratino and didn't like it. Save for a couple of scenes.
2. We get to check out cars. We can finally afford a new car! Because mine is unreliable and 20 years old.
3. My husband has shown me the WB wonder of Smallville.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Slightly Disappointing
Today I found out that I didn't even get an interview with the prep academy that I applied. I figured, oh well, I thought that they wouldn't call me anyway (why would they when they could hire someone who is already certified yet less awesome than myself).
But there is always a chance for another position.
Good times.
But there is always a chance for another position.
Good times.
Monday, September 6, 2010
I Dream of Teaching.
Last night I had a bizarre dream. I dreamed that I was a teacher for this group of high school kids. I was teaching them Shel Silverstein for some reason and they had to write a S.S.-esque poem on their own. One kid, a very bright young fellow, wrote about a tree and he threw some alliteration in there and I was astounded. I said,
"You know that's called alliteration?"
"Yeah, that's why I did it" he replied.
He was my favorite student because it was smart and entertaining. The teacher in the room with me really liked me because I was in the ARL program and the best co-teacher that she had. Yeah, it was an awesome dream.
I actually felt like I was making a difference. It was pretty amazing. But then I woke up.
Perhaps someday that dream will be a reality.
"You know that's called alliteration?"
"Yeah, that's why I did it" he replied.
He was my favorite student because it was smart and entertaining. The teacher in the room with me really liked me because I was in the ARL program and the best co-teacher that she had. Yeah, it was an awesome dream.
I actually felt like I was making a difference. It was pretty amazing. But then I woke up.
Perhaps someday that dream will be a reality.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Waiting for peace,
something hidden or purposely forgotten,
we all know the feeling.
And what do we hear?
"knowing is half the battle"
picking up swords of courage,
lassoing arrowheads of fear.
The tears you had shed previously,
grew up sunflowers.
Peace, another man made Ponzi scheme.
Where the wind that carries my raging river thoughts away
profits.
Peace, Peace, they say...
Yet I know, that it.
might only come in droplets of victorious memory.
Ae Kent
something hidden or purposely forgotten,
we all know the feeling.
And what do we hear?
"knowing is half the battle"
picking up swords of courage,
lassoing arrowheads of fear.
The tears you had shed previously,
grew up sunflowers.
Peace, another man made Ponzi scheme.
Where the wind that carries my raging river thoughts away
profits.
Peace, Peace, they say...
Yet I know, that it.
might only come in droplets of victorious memory.
Ae Kent
Friday, September 3, 2010
The Prep Academy and Other Insecurities
This blog will be highly emotional. So just a warning to those who don't want to read crap.
So, two things going on in my life.
1. I have little faith that I can find a teaching job in 18 months.
2. I have cramps and my chest hurts everyday.
Okay, divulging into the depths of my thoughts.
1. I do English good... haha. just kidding. There's these prep academies that look amazing to teach at. But they are all an hour away. There is nothing offered near where I live. The places I have applied at over a week ago haven't called back. Places that wanted immediate employment haven't called me. So it seems as though I wasn't exactly their top pick. Who would want to hire someone that doesn't hold credentials.
I am insecure that I can't find a job in that time frame.
2. That is that.
So, two things going on in my life.
1. I have little faith that I can find a teaching job in 18 months.
2. I have cramps and my chest hurts everyday.
Okay, divulging into the depths of my thoughts.
1. I do English good... haha. just kidding. There's these prep academies that look amazing to teach at. But they are all an hour away. There is nothing offered near where I live. The places I have applied at over a week ago haven't called back. Places that wanted immediate employment haven't called me. So it seems as though I wasn't exactly their top pick. Who would want to hire someone that doesn't hold credentials.
I am insecure that I can't find a job in that time frame.
2. That is that.
The Spider Uprising Part Two (D.O.A)
All the friends and all the family of the all the spiders that I have killed or contracted out to kill are coming for to carry me home.
Oh yes, sweet Justice and her mysterious ways, Karma, as others would say, has reared her ugly head towards my precious one...
Last night as I was heating running shower water out the facet to get it at the correct temperature for my body, I swiped my hand under the stream. Out popped a HUGE spider and I screamed at the top of my lungs and my poor husband rushed in like a bat out of hell to help his helpless woman. Yes, it was exactly like that..
Then today as I was starting to write this blog I was distracted with a clothes pin at work (please don't ask why there's a clothes pin at a chocolate factory)and it flew out of my hand and hit the floor.
Well, as I traced where it landed, only a couple of inches from me I noticed a small thing scurry away! It was ANOTHER FRIGGIN SPIDER!
I cannot help but scream at the little devil and I left my desk. I think he was coming in for an attack.
There must be some sort of spider KGB out to kill me..
Oh yes, sweet Justice and her mysterious ways, Karma, as others would say, has reared her ugly head towards my precious one...
Last night as I was heating running shower water out the facet to get it at the correct temperature for my body, I swiped my hand under the stream. Out popped a HUGE spider and I screamed at the top of my lungs and my poor husband rushed in like a bat out of hell to help his helpless woman. Yes, it was exactly like that..
Then today as I was starting to write this blog I was distracted with a clothes pin at work (please don't ask why there's a clothes pin at a chocolate factory)and it flew out of my hand and hit the floor.
Well, as I traced where it landed, only a couple of inches from me I noticed a small thing scurry away! It was ANOTHER FRIGGIN SPIDER!
I cannot help but scream at the little devil and I left my desk. I think he was coming in for an attack.
There must be some sort of spider KGB out to kill me..
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Haphazard Working Environment Stresses the Fetus Out
There are some days that are so amazing in the beginning and I think, "man, what could go wrong? I have my favorite latte in hand (bonus points that it didn't spill in my car or on my pants, the sun is shining and there's not a lot of stress at work today."
Well, drama decides to hit work as ugly hits an ape... For privacy I cannot say what exactly.
Then I realize that I've broken the fax machine. Perfect..
Oh, then I accidently overcharged a customer 34 clams...
Oh, yeah, then I realize... Wait, in the midst of everything going on, my latte just became cold.
The last drops are supposed to be like heaven entering my mouth, or a fetus rolling around in the warm placenta.. You know, the last drop is supposed to be such a wonderful feeling. But not when it's cold!
What's new... Life, what are you doing to do next?
BTW: I am not pregnant if you thought this title implied it.
Well, drama decides to hit work as ugly hits an ape... For privacy I cannot say what exactly.
Then I realize that I've broken the fax machine. Perfect..
Oh, then I accidently overcharged a customer 34 clams...
Oh, yeah, then I realize... Wait, in the midst of everything going on, my latte just became cold.
The last drops are supposed to be like heaven entering my mouth, or a fetus rolling around in the warm placenta.. You know, the last drop is supposed to be such a wonderful feeling. But not when it's cold!
What's new... Life, what are you doing to do next?
BTW: I am not pregnant if you thought this title implied it.
Just a few things to do in Orlando
Here is a mock list of a few attractions you might want to see if you are ever in Orlando. I mean if you don't want to spend $80.00 + at the theme parks.
1. The Titanic Experience $21.00
- The gist is that you go onto a ship that will inevitably sink whilst
taking on the persona of a corpse from this famous tragedy. Who will
you be? The dowdy dishwasher? The haphazardly waterlogged scullery
maid? Regardless of the nature of the name printed on your
authenticated ticket, you and a lucky guest will be given a before an
after tour of the burgeoning barge of unsightly misfortune.After which
time you can sample the delicacies of doom at the restaurant, or
perhaps backstroke your way through the harrowing waters to the gift
shop. Here you can purchase wonderful memorabilia including t-shirts
reading: I brought my own life jacket; BYOB; Life preservers? We don't
need no stinking life-preservers...; RIP: LEO... (Well this is what the
description should say anyway)
2. The Holy Land Experience $30.00
- Strap on your gladiator sandals (thank the Lord they came back in
fashion right?) ladies and gentleman whilst you sample the dusty lands
of centuries old Jerusalem. This Divinely inspired experience
transports you back to the days of nasty smelling camels, and bad dates
as you maneuver your way through the promise land. Entertain thoughts
of penitence and supplication as you marvel at the mystical spires of
the renowned Holy Temple. Rest your tired feet at the Mary Magdalen
Foot and Holy Pool spa as your munch on the finest Mediterranean
cuisine at our very own Martha's. Later quench your thirst at the Water
to Winery while you sit in our camel back chairs and listen to the
trumpets. Amidst the blazing trumpeters, be amazed at the Miraculous Miracles Second Coming Firework
Bonanza. For no more than a beggar woman's mite, who wouldn't want to
render $30.00 to Cesar and enjoy this fabulous tribute?
1. The Titanic Experience $21.00
- The gist is that you go onto a ship that will inevitably sink whilst
taking on the persona of a corpse from this famous tragedy. Who will
you be? The dowdy dishwasher? The haphazardly waterlogged scullery
maid? Regardless of the nature of the name printed on your
authenticated ticket, you and a lucky guest will be given a before an
after tour of the burgeoning barge of unsightly misfortune.After which
time you can sample the delicacies of doom at the restaurant, or
perhaps backstroke your way through the harrowing waters to the gift
shop. Here you can purchase wonderful memorabilia including t-shirts
reading: I brought my own life jacket; BYOB; Life preservers? We don't
need no stinking life-preservers...; RIP: LEO... (Well this is what the
description should say anyway)
2. The Holy Land Experience $30.00
- Strap on your gladiator sandals (thank the Lord they came back in
fashion right?) ladies and gentleman whilst you sample the dusty lands
of centuries old Jerusalem. This Divinely inspired experience
transports you back to the days of nasty smelling camels, and bad dates
as you maneuver your way through the promise land. Entertain thoughts
of penitence and supplication as you marvel at the mystical spires of
the renowned Holy Temple. Rest your tired feet at the Mary Magdalen
Foot and Holy Pool spa as your munch on the finest Mediterranean
cuisine at our very own Martha's. Later quench your thirst at the Water
to Winery while you sit in our camel back chairs and listen to the
trumpets. Amidst the blazing trumpeters, be amazed at the Miraculous Miracles Second Coming Firework
Bonanza. For no more than a beggar woman's mite, who wouldn't want to
render $30.00 to Cesar and enjoy this fabulous tribute?
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Sophie's Underwear Fetish
This morning started out completely normal. I got up around 7am and made my way to the bathroom. Along the way I took out my clothes for this morning; a shirt, a bra, pants, and underwear.
I placed these items on the cold tile floor of the bathroom as I got things ready to take a nice hot shower.
After the shower I got out, dried off and went to get dressed.
Bra, check. Shirt, check. Underwear... underwear? UNDERWEAR! I knew I put it in here. Whatever. Maybe in my early morning grog I probably just forgot it.
I get our of the bathroom and I made my way into the living room. There my underwear was. Sitting in all their torn glory.
Sophie took them from the clothes pile and she torn them in two pieces.
So then I decided she needed to wear her mistake and all day she wore theunderwear around her neck in a sort of perverted necklace.
What a perv...
I placed these items on the cold tile floor of the bathroom as I got things ready to take a nice hot shower.
After the shower I got out, dried off and went to get dressed.
Bra, check. Shirt, check. Underwear... underwear? UNDERWEAR! I knew I put it in here. Whatever. Maybe in my early morning grog I probably just forgot it.
I get our of the bathroom and I made my way into the living room. There my underwear was. Sitting in all their torn glory.
Sophie took them from the clothes pile and she torn them in two pieces.
So then I decided she needed to wear her mistake and all day she wore theunderwear around her neck in a sort of perverted necklace.
What a perv...
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Sometimes the best feeling in the world is rubbing my feet on my dog
The last two days at work have been very busy and I am seeing little result in my efforts. I have put in three hours of overtime to finish one order. During the season when I should be able to check facebook, read about crimes, and apply for different jobs I am, instead actually earning my paycheck. Today I totally made bank and that rocks, except for the fact that I have no product with which to stock the store. Needless to say I am very busy.
My boss came into my work area. I had over 300 boxes of caramels strewn all over the place and he asks, "When do you want the girls to come in and help?" I replied "yesterday." We finished the order in the nick of time and went on to fill the other 16 orders that had to be done today. Half of which we did not have product for because all of our efforts have been spent on other high profile projects.
At the end of the day I don't want to fold the heaping pile of laundry, or clean dishes, or mop, or take out the trash, so everything will sit until tomorrow. The only activity my brain has a capacity for is sitting on the couch and making fart noises at my dog, Sophie. All her brain capacity has room for is tilting her head in an un-communicated agreement that I am in fact correct.
I have been at work the last 10 hours and I am exhausted. However all I need at the moment (besides a genie to swipe away my chores) is just to pet my dog and rest my feet on her back.
P.S. For those who care (or forgot about this but are now pretending to care slightly) I have not received word from the American Preparatory Academy. Please continue to keep your fingers crossed!
My boss came into my work area. I had over 300 boxes of caramels strewn all over the place and he asks, "When do you want the girls to come in and help?" I replied "yesterday." We finished the order in the nick of time and went on to fill the other 16 orders that had to be done today. Half of which we did not have product for because all of our efforts have been spent on other high profile projects.
At the end of the day I don't want to fold the heaping pile of laundry, or clean dishes, or mop, or take out the trash, so everything will sit until tomorrow. The only activity my brain has a capacity for is sitting on the couch and making fart noises at my dog, Sophie. All her brain capacity has room for is tilting her head in an un-communicated agreement that I am in fact correct.
I have been at work the last 10 hours and I am exhausted. However all I need at the moment (besides a genie to swipe away my chores) is just to pet my dog and rest my feet on her back.
P.S. For those who care (or forgot about this but are now pretending to care slightly) I have not received word from the American Preparatory Academy. Please continue to keep your fingers crossed!
Friday, August 27, 2010
The Company BBQ
Tomorrow Jacob and I are attending his Fidelity BBQ. I suppose there's some sort of raffle, a three legged race, and some other blank K race... Whatevs. I'm just glad that I'm going to be spending time outside. However, if there is no one that I know there I'm not sure how much I'm going to enjoy it. I absolutely positively despise mingling. I'd rather sit down and have an intimate conversation with someone rather than... well, not doing so. I can't think of topics, I feel as though I'm being fake by pretending to care (because I force myself to care, but sometimes I just don't care about Ms. Sissy's hip dysplasia and chornic anal glad cleansing). Let's hope Jacob doesn't leave my side.
On to other news:
Today I applied for the teaching position. I am so nervous. I have to tell my bosses soon that I am trying for it. I'm secure in the fact that I made the right decision. I sought a lot of advice from people I trust and respect and they all said the same thing.. So, here's hoping that many advisors will make my vicotry sure. It's in God's hands and He can do anything He wants. Let's hope that His will is my will. I suppose I should pray for that too!
On to other news:
Today I applied for the teaching position. I am so nervous. I have to tell my bosses soon that I am trying for it. I'm secure in the fact that I made the right decision. I sought a lot of advice from people I trust and respect and they all said the same thing.. So, here's hoping that many advisors will make my vicotry sure. It's in God's hands and He can do anything He wants. Let's hope that His will is my will. I suppose I should pray for that too!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Mrs. Kent
I finally heard word that I was accepted into the Alternate Routes to Licensing program through the state of Utah. Fortunately, the job hunt so far is looking okay. I have two opportunities, but one that I prefer. However, I am at the factory, making chocolates and answering phones. Not exactly what I want to do with the rest of my life. I'm hoping that becoming a high school English teacher is what I'm looking for. And that's what I'm applying for. So, let's keep our fingers crossed that perhaps I can get this job. I'm awaiting one reference, then I blast the job with the application and then I'll sit back and wait for the phone call. Lord willing. If that's not the case, if I don't get the job, then that's okay. I still have V Chocolates that has done me well for the last 7 months.
The only draw back is that I have to find a job within 18 months before my deal with the ARL goonies goes bad. Perhaps I'll be sleeping with the ARL fishes until the year after next....
I just really want this job. This is why I went to college and why I got my degree in English. Let's hope the Fates smile kindly upon my adventure into the unknown.
The only draw back is that I have to find a job within 18 months before my deal with the ARL goonies goes bad. Perhaps I'll be sleeping with the ARL fishes until the year after next....
I just really want this job. This is why I went to college and why I got my degree in English. Let's hope the Fates smile kindly upon my adventure into the unknown.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Riding the Clutch
This past weekend my husband thought it would be a great idea for me to learn how to drive stick. I already know the system, you know, down shift, don't ride the clutch, don't cry if you stall in the middle of an intersection, etc.
Well previously I have had experience driving clutch (on the highway, only in one gear with cruise control on). However recently I had decided that I will dominate the hunk of a beast and become the Dale Earnhart of driving stick.
It was a happy and sunny summer day (yesterday) and I thought "gee, wouldn't it be awesome if I drove to church?!" so I got Jake's keys and hopped in the car. Reversing for some reason is a cinch. No problem. However driving from first to second always kills me! For some reason I cannot figure this out. Anyway I survive the intital drive out from the freeway and I get past the first stop light. I get past Smith's. I get to 700 East and I stall. I immediately become frustrated.
(don't cry when you stall in the middle of an intersection). And I knew that I would have this problem all the way to the Homewood Suites.. So, I decided that Jacob needs to drive to church today.
Perhaps I'll learn the stick shift sometime... Perhaps...
Well previously I have had experience driving clutch (on the highway, only in one gear with cruise control on). However recently I had decided that I will dominate the hunk of a beast and become the Dale Earnhart of driving stick.
It was a happy and sunny summer day (yesterday) and I thought "gee, wouldn't it be awesome if I drove to church?!" so I got Jake's keys and hopped in the car. Reversing for some reason is a cinch. No problem. However driving from first to second always kills me! For some reason I cannot figure this out. Anyway I survive the intital drive out from the freeway and I get past the first stop light. I get past Smith's. I get to 700 East and I stall. I immediately become frustrated.
(don't cry when you stall in the middle of an intersection). And I knew that I would have this problem all the way to the Homewood Suites.. So, I decided that Jacob needs to drive to church today.
Perhaps I'll learn the stick shift sometime... Perhaps...
Friday, August 13, 2010
Cookie the Ocelot
Many moons ago, my roommate,Hutch, and I had a friend. This friend's name was Athena. She lived across the hall from us and had many fancies. One fancy was horses. She had one horse named Cookie.
While drawing an exact replica of Cookie with two Crayola markers, we decided to name her horse "Cookie: The Ocelot". As many of you know, or might not know but will know soon because I'm about to tell you, an ocelot is an endangered large feline found in places like South America hanging out with poisonious snakes and smelly apes.
Of course the real-life Cookie, probably doesn't partake in those sordid rendevous out in the jungles of South America, however the likelihood of Cookie hanging out with someone say John Gotti for example, would probably not be far from the truth.
There you have it. Cookie the Ocelot.
While drawing an exact replica of Cookie with two Crayola markers, we decided to name her horse "Cookie: The Ocelot". As many of you know, or might not know but will know soon because I'm about to tell you, an ocelot is an endangered large feline found in places like South America hanging out with poisonious snakes and smelly apes.
Of course the real-life Cookie, probably doesn't partake in those sordid rendevous out in the jungles of South America, however the likelihood of Cookie hanging out with someone say John Gotti for example, would probably not be far from the truth.
There you have it. Cookie the Ocelot.
Reprimanded by a phone
So going along with the blackberry sagas, I have a new exciting tidbit. Actually, I'm sure everyone already knew this, but I don't know anything. Seriously, I just began texting last summer.
Anyways....
Alright so I called my poor mother this morning around 9:30 (7:30 her time). I was researching the university's site (as previously stated in the last blog). So, naturally I had to call her at the crack of dawn to discuss class enrollment options (Do I focus more on the Romantics or the Victorian era). While I did this, I had a phone call. I quickly hung up with my mother and took the business call.
I guess I pushed a button or something. This is what happened next.
Blackberry: " What can I do for you?"
Me: "What the...the phone talks..
BB: "What would you like me to do, or who would you like me to call?"
Me: "Um...my mom, I guess." (Still completely dumbfounded)
BB: "Which number would you like me to call?" (Display shows both home and mom numbers)
Me: "Oh, uh, call home then."
BB: " Dialing home. For future reference please say "call home1. Thank you."
Anyways....
Alright so I called my poor mother this morning around 9:30 (7:30 her time). I was researching the university's site (as previously stated in the last blog). So, naturally I had to call her at the crack of dawn to discuss class enrollment options (Do I focus more on the Romantics or the Victorian era). While I did this, I had a phone call. I quickly hung up with my mother and took the business call.
I guess I pushed a button or something. This is what happened next.
Blackberry: " What can I do for you?"
Me: "What the...the phone talks..
BB: "What would you like me to do, or who would you like me to call?"
Me: "Um...my mom, I guess." (Still completely dumbfounded)
BB: "Which number would you like me to call?" (Display shows both home and mom numbers)
Me: "Oh, uh, call home then."
BB: " Dialing home. For future reference please say "call home1. Thank you."
Chaplains
Life thus far.....
Well, it's about to start in 4 weeks. I've been searching the website for Oxford-Brookes pretty much all morning. No one wanted to die in the last day or so. It's been quiet. That means more time for me to research exactly what I want to do with myself at university besides study (naturally). It's going to be awesome...they have a club for everything. Drama will be among the cards naturally..what else, I'm not sure. I'll figure it out as I go. There's always the Fresher's Fair if I need it (kind of like rush week).
Anyways....
I found out, among other things (like a campus bookstore containing over 500,000 titles), they have chaplains. No really. Paid, campus Chaplains on staff. Equip with a prayer room and everything.
I'm pausing here for reaction.......
Really? Am I the only one who thinks this is weird? I mean, sure, private universities tend to have this. This is not a private university, and they have six different chaplains. Not only that, but there is a prayer of the week listed on the chaplain page. Here it is for all you people dying to be in the know:
My Dearest Lord
Be a bright flame before me
Be a guiding star above me
Be a smooth path beneath me
Be a kind shepherd behind me
Today and forevermore. Amen.
Now, I understand that St. Columba wrote this prayer as a plea for guidance. However for the student the prayer is more likely to be something like this:
My Dearest Lord
Be a new Mac before me
Be a guiding book above me
Be a strong drink to de-stress me
Be a brilliant sparknote to inspire me
Today and forevermore. Amen.
Well, it's about to start in 4 weeks. I've been searching the website for Oxford-Brookes pretty much all morning. No one wanted to die in the last day or so. It's been quiet. That means more time for me to research exactly what I want to do with myself at university besides study (naturally). It's going to be awesome...they have a club for everything. Drama will be among the cards naturally..what else, I'm not sure. I'll figure it out as I go. There's always the Fresher's Fair if I need it (kind of like rush week).
Anyways....
I found out, among other things (like a campus bookstore containing over 500,000 titles), they have chaplains. No really. Paid, campus Chaplains on staff. Equip with a prayer room and everything.
I'm pausing here for reaction.......
Really? Am I the only one who thinks this is weird? I mean, sure, private universities tend to have this. This is not a private university, and they have six different chaplains. Not only that, but there is a prayer of the week listed on the chaplain page. Here it is for all you people dying to be in the know:
My Dearest Lord
Be a bright flame before me
Be a guiding star above me
Be a smooth path beneath me
Be a kind shepherd behind me
Today and forevermore. Amen.
Now, I understand that St. Columba wrote this prayer as a plea for guidance. However for the student the prayer is more likely to be something like this:
My Dearest Lord
Be a new Mac before me
Be a guiding book above me
Be a strong drink to de-stress me
Be a brilliant sparknote to inspire me
Today and forevermore. Amen.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
body odor
So, yeah....not sure how to explain this. Hmmm...
Alright, let's set up the scenario.
You go to work, which happens to be a funeral home at the moment. Not a bad place, it's money. No, the answer is you don't have to touch the bodies if you don't want to. You will see them often though. Let's get back to it. You're at work. You answer a few phone call that more often than not start with.."I know this is a weird question but..." Pretty soon, your nose starts to twitch. You can smell something, but you're not quite sure what it is. It's a foul odor, somewhat like somebody didn't quite shower this morning...or for about a month for that matter. You look around. No one else is around you. Suddenly you're a bit embarrassed. Is it you? You smell your hair, nope (smells like flowery shampoo). You're pretty darn sure it is not you. So you start to investigate your desk...what could it be?
"You smell that?" One of your coworkers notices your search.
"Uh, yeah, what is that?" You reply a little sheepishly.
"You didn't hear? Body in the viewing room. Smell is coming from the other side of your wall."
If there was a light over your head, it would have turned on by now.
As quickly as the light goes on, it begins to dim...
There is a rotting body emitting toxic fumes into your space...
Great.
Alright, let's set up the scenario.
You go to work, which happens to be a funeral home at the moment. Not a bad place, it's money. No, the answer is you don't have to touch the bodies if you don't want to. You will see them often though. Let's get back to it. You're at work. You answer a few phone call that more often than not start with.."I know this is a weird question but..." Pretty soon, your nose starts to twitch. You can smell something, but you're not quite sure what it is. It's a foul odor, somewhat like somebody didn't quite shower this morning...or for about a month for that matter. You look around. No one else is around you. Suddenly you're a bit embarrassed. Is it you? You smell your hair, nope (smells like flowery shampoo). You're pretty darn sure it is not you. So you start to investigate your desk...what could it be?
"You smell that?" One of your coworkers notices your search.
"Uh, yeah, what is that?" You reply a little sheepishly.
"You didn't hear? Body in the viewing room. Smell is coming from the other side of your wall."
If there was a light over your head, it would have turned on by now.
As quickly as the light goes on, it begins to dim...
There is a rotting body emitting toxic fumes into your space...
Great.
the picture on my blackberry/"Where are you going again?"
Yes, I have a blackberry. It's kind of cool really. After a year of dropping my phone, watching my rottie/shepherd puppy (Ares) carry it around in his mouth, well it survived. Yes, I was shocked, but not for too long. Of all the hell I put the phone through, a tiny little piece of plastic broke off in the charger, and thus, my phone died (RIP, sniff). So now I have a blackberry with a global setting (and paying hansomely for it). But, that little precursor is not the reason I write to you today. No, what the point was is that on the face of this little dipped in gold tool, is a picture of London. A reminder that all the crap that I will be writing about next was all worth it.
Every time I look at it, I remind myself why I am doing what I do. You see I despise the easy road. If it is stressful,and most people would give up on it, rather than begin to attempt it, well...that's what I do. Yesterday it involved Visas.
I had to drive to Orlando to get fingerprinted for my student Visa. This isn't so bad, right? Sure. Well, it was interesting. After a two hour drive (which I didn't really mind), I had to find the immigration office. I found it, but I missed a piece of paperwork that included a bar code. In the novel that I had printed off, I forgot one piece of paper. So, naturally I had to find a library and spend $5 to print off one sheet of paper. I was seriously pissed at this point.
Then, after the officer did the fingerprinting,and swore I would be married in a year, I thought I had it all figured out. WRONG.....
"Did you know you have to send your info to L.A.?"
No, thank you, I didn't. Apparently you have to send your paperwork out to be processed. Uh huh, cause it can't be easy, right? Well, after a $12 phone call to the British visa whatever, I found out the address. I was seriously upset by this point, and about to buy ice cream (something I truly never do).
As I was in the drive through at Bruster's (amazing place), my phone rang. All the zeros in the number meant it was a call from a friend in Korea. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself at this point, so I very much welcomed the call.
I launched into a pathetic, sob story about how miserable my life was at the moment, and how much trouble I've had to go through, and boo hoo hoo (and so on). As I did this I began to realize how stupid it all sounded, but not before I was silenced by his retort to my childish pity party, "And, where are you going again?"
Yes, where was I going? "Oxford." I replied like a little girl. England. I was, am, going to England. Suddenly the picture on my blackberry and that one remark was like hitting a brick wall. Exactly what was I complaining about? So the visa process was a nightmare. Yeah, and? In a little over a month I'd be in England.
It's amazing how little we actually pay attention to the big picture, and obsess about the details.
Every time I look at it, I remind myself why I am doing what I do. You see I despise the easy road. If it is stressful,and most people would give up on it, rather than begin to attempt it, well...that's what I do. Yesterday it involved Visas.
I had to drive to Orlando to get fingerprinted for my student Visa. This isn't so bad, right? Sure. Well, it was interesting. After a two hour drive (which I didn't really mind), I had to find the immigration office. I found it, but I missed a piece of paperwork that included a bar code. In the novel that I had printed off, I forgot one piece of paper. So, naturally I had to find a library and spend $5 to print off one sheet of paper. I was seriously pissed at this point.
Then, after the officer did the fingerprinting,and swore I would be married in a year, I thought I had it all figured out. WRONG.....
"Did you know you have to send your info to L.A.?"
No, thank you, I didn't. Apparently you have to send your paperwork out to be processed. Uh huh, cause it can't be easy, right? Well, after a $12 phone call to the British visa whatever, I found out the address. I was seriously upset by this point, and about to buy ice cream (something I truly never do).
As I was in the drive through at Bruster's (amazing place), my phone rang. All the zeros in the number meant it was a call from a friend in Korea. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself at this point, so I very much welcomed the call.
I launched into a pathetic, sob story about how miserable my life was at the moment, and how much trouble I've had to go through, and boo hoo hoo (and so on). As I did this I began to realize how stupid it all sounded, but not before I was silenced by his retort to my childish pity party, "And, where are you going again?"
Yes, where was I going? "Oxford." I replied like a little girl. England. I was, am, going to England. Suddenly the picture on my blackberry and that one remark was like hitting a brick wall. Exactly what was I complaining about? So the visa process was a nightmare. Yeah, and? In a little over a month I'd be in England.
It's amazing how little we actually pay attention to the big picture, and obsess about the details.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
The Spider Uprising
I've had it up to my nose with spiders! They are creepy, ugly, and ANNOYING.
Beside the spider army living somewhere inside my house, I have a spider problem at work!
I saw two yesterday (one was the biggest I've ever seen) the other was in my boss's office! I killed that one, I think. But spiders are getting trickier nowadays. They roll up into little balls their new defensive tactic. "Oh, I'm an injured spider, Oh! I'm dead now because I've rolled into a little ball. Please stop hitting me.. Oh, I see the light...." etc...
Well today I had to kill two more! These ones were big! They were gray and black and had long hairy thick legs (like me! hahahaha. just kidding). I killed one and then his friend or lover or eater came rushing over, no joke, to attack me. But luckily I was quick with my broom and killed that one too.
I think that the spiders know that I'm out to kill them. Take no prisoners type of deal and a spider uprising is coming to snuff me out...
Beside the spider army living somewhere inside my house, I have a spider problem at work!
I saw two yesterday (one was the biggest I've ever seen) the other was in my boss's office! I killed that one, I think. But spiders are getting trickier nowadays. They roll up into little balls their new defensive tactic. "Oh, I'm an injured spider, Oh! I'm dead now because I've rolled into a little ball. Please stop hitting me.. Oh, I see the light...." etc...
Well today I had to kill two more! These ones were big! They were gray and black and had long hairy thick legs (like me! hahahaha. just kidding). I killed one and then his friend or lover or eater came rushing over, no joke, to attack me. But luckily I was quick with my broom and killed that one too.
I think that the spiders know that I'm out to kill them. Take no prisoners type of deal and a spider uprising is coming to snuff me out...
Friday, August 6, 2010
Thirsty Thursday... And other stories.
Thursday is among one of the many days (save for Saturday and Sunday.. so not so many) that I get my usual 12oz almond latte with two shots... So, as I go about my usual business I go through the Java Joe's drive thru and get my goodness. Then of course I have no cup holders so the latte is precariously placed in between my "E" brake and the passenger seat. It's ghetto but it works... Usually... However it seems that the initial stop light outside of the coffee drive thru contains many lurking bumps that do not appear before I drive over them, but jump out as I am in mid-turn. The road can be tricky like that. Especially if it has a vendetta (remember remember the 5th of November) against cars. As it turns out the latte decides "hey, this is my escape before I get devoured" and it clammers through the little sippy hole and lands on my carseats, on my "E" brake and many other places which I seem to find later AFTER I've already cleaned the mess.
So as it turns out I pay for the latte and my car seats get to drink it.
OTHER EVENTS IN THE WORLD OF ANGELINA:
My border collie/ lab pup named Sophie is a complete flomper schlomps. Save for her striking good looks she really has nothing going for her. Well, she has a lot of brains... I'll get her that. But whether or not she really uses them I am unsure (however inside her cage are countless marks, which to the untrained human eye appears to be scratch marks of escape attempts, but in actually they are Roman numerals counting down to her final big escape after the tally of days she has kept in her log).
She is afraid of our strainer, our flour sifter, salad tongs and many other miscelleanous kitchenware. Despite the fact that I chase her around the house with these items while making scary guttural throat noises, I cannot figure out why she despies the kitchen utensils. She knows that if I'm holding, say, a nut cracker then she knows to start running. But if I'm holding a butter knife it's not a big deal.
It probably has something to do with my facial expression and my scent.
So as it turns out I pay for the latte and my car seats get to drink it.
OTHER EVENTS IN THE WORLD OF ANGELINA:
My border collie/ lab pup named Sophie is a complete flomper schlomps. Save for her striking good looks she really has nothing going for her. Well, she has a lot of brains... I'll get her that. But whether or not she really uses them I am unsure (however inside her cage are countless marks, which to the untrained human eye appears to be scratch marks of escape attempts, but in actually they are Roman numerals counting down to her final big escape after the tally of days she has kept in her log).
She is afraid of our strainer, our flour sifter, salad tongs and many other miscelleanous kitchenware. Despite the fact that I chase her around the house with these items while making scary guttural throat noises, I cannot figure out why she despies the kitchen utensils. She knows that if I'm holding, say, a nut cracker then she knows to start running. But if I'm holding a butter knife it's not a big deal.
It probably has something to do with my facial expression and my scent.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Zuke's Barkhaus
I have had an idea for a long time now. It is this: having a dog park connected to a cafe. This cafe would be called Zuke's Barkhaus. Owners walking their mutts on a casual Saturday morning could stop by, have their dogs play while they sip on vanilla lattes and read the New York Times. Wouldn't it be wonderful?
Of course food would be served there. Donuts, muffins, crossiants, bagels, you know little munchies. For the pets, we'd have their own section called the barkery which would contain biscuits and plenty of other goodness dog cupcakes made with rice and lamb and the like.
Maybe someday I'll do it. But wouldn't it be nice?
Of course food would be served there. Donuts, muffins, crossiants, bagels, you know little munchies. For the pets, we'd have their own section called the barkery which would contain biscuits and plenty of other goodness dog cupcakes made with rice and lamb and the like.
Maybe someday I'll do it. But wouldn't it be nice?
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Stupid Customer.
Okay if any one of you have ever been in the retail/people service industry you know how stupid customers can be, especially when they feel entitled... Well, I don't handle stupidity well. Here's how yesterday's event played out.
9:15am (15 minutes after store opening)
I had a box of dozen strawberries sitting waiting to be sold. A lady walked in.
"ugh.. sorry let me catch my breath.. I lived in Arizona for five years......" (trail off) "sorry I need to call someone... How much are those strawberries?"
"14.95 a dozen" I replied already annoyed.
"Oh wow. That's really expensive."
"Yep."
"Oh! it's ringing!" (mumbling words and lovey dovey crap, whatever I get paid by the hour...) "Can I buy like only 6 or something?"
"No." I said. Why on earth would I go through the trouble of re packaging the strawberries when I'll get three more people coming in today willing to pay for an entire dozen? She wanted those strawberries very badly and I knew that if I just held out, she'd buy the entire thing.
"But. ugh... Can I get a discount?"
"Are you serious? No!" Honestly, my attitude in how I said no really surprised me. It sounded a lot more annoyed than I expected. But this woman was a freakin' piece of work. There is no way I'm selling six strawberries (re-packaging the rest) at a discount when, as I stated earlier more people will come in wanting strawberries who are willing to pay full price for the full dozen.
"Ugh.. Okay, I'll take the whole thing, then"
"Okay. Great."
9:45 am rolls around and she finally pays for her strawberries after I separate out the transaction into two different types of payment because she didn't want her boyfriend to be mad...
Ridiculous people.
9:15am (15 minutes after store opening)
I had a box of dozen strawberries sitting waiting to be sold. A lady walked in.
"ugh.. sorry let me catch my breath.. I lived in Arizona for five years......" (trail off) "sorry I need to call someone... How much are those strawberries?"
"14.95 a dozen" I replied already annoyed.
"Oh wow. That's really expensive."
"Yep."
"Oh! it's ringing!" (mumbling words and lovey dovey crap, whatever I get paid by the hour...) "Can I buy like only 6 or something?"
"No." I said. Why on earth would I go through the trouble of re packaging the strawberries when I'll get three more people coming in today willing to pay for an entire dozen? She wanted those strawberries very badly and I knew that if I just held out, she'd buy the entire thing.
"But. ugh... Can I get a discount?"
"Are you serious? No!" Honestly, my attitude in how I said no really surprised me. It sounded a lot more annoyed than I expected. But this woman was a freakin' piece of work. There is no way I'm selling six strawberries (re-packaging the rest) at a discount when, as I stated earlier more people will come in wanting strawberries who are willing to pay full price for the full dozen.
"Ugh.. Okay, I'll take the whole thing, then"
"Okay. Great."
9:45 am rolls around and she finally pays for her strawberries after I separate out the transaction into two different types of payment because she didn't want her boyfriend to be mad...
Ridiculous people.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
credit cards
*****Disclaimer*******
This blog does not condone nor condemn the use of credit cards as a means of payment. However, they are nice :)
Yeah, so judging by the title, you can tell exactly what this blog may be about. The dreaded, but extremely fun to use, credit card. Really, all you do is a quick zip, and that ridiculously over priced pair of sling back heels is yours. No, but seriously, it's a ludicrous business; especially being a student. Why? Well, you have no credit history to start out with, and let's face it, you have loans (those of you who have parental benefits, just shut up please). This is not at all a lucrative assessment. Ah, well, what can you do.
But...let's just say you were approved. You get to choose a card image. Now this is where it gets exciting...
Will you choose the environmentally friendly version that allows you to put a toxic symbol on your card, the ever so popular beach motif, or perhaps you'll leave it gold (who knows? Maybe it's Midas powers might rub off on you?).
No, seriously, if you are going to get a credit card, spring for the air miles. It's magic. Well, that is if you travel at all. What could be better? Well...I suppose having the money in the first place might.....
This blog does not condone nor condemn the use of credit cards as a means of payment. However, they are nice :)
Yeah, so judging by the title, you can tell exactly what this blog may be about. The dreaded, but extremely fun to use, credit card. Really, all you do is a quick zip, and that ridiculously over priced pair of sling back heels is yours. No, but seriously, it's a ludicrous business; especially being a student. Why? Well, you have no credit history to start out with, and let's face it, you have loans (those of you who have parental benefits, just shut up please). This is not at all a lucrative assessment. Ah, well, what can you do.
But...let's just say you were approved. You get to choose a card image. Now this is where it gets exciting...
Will you choose the environmentally friendly version that allows you to put a toxic symbol on your card, the ever so popular beach motif, or perhaps you'll leave it gold (who knows? Maybe it's Midas powers might rub off on you?).
No, seriously, if you are going to get a credit card, spring for the air miles. It's magic. Well, that is if you travel at all. What could be better? Well...I suppose having the money in the first place might.....
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Profound
Today my fortune cookie spoke to me...
It said: You will find what you search for is already in your hand
um.............
Well, to be honest, I'm not quite sure what that means as I was holding the fortune cookie. It was obviously profound as most fortune cookies are. However on the whole, I think this whole fortune cookie business has a cosmic flaw...you never seem quite able to get a decent one. I mean let's be honest here, most fortune cookies say crap like "the path you seek is right in front of you." Well yeah, if I was headed that direction in the first place then it probably was the path I was seeking. We see them as a sign of luck, but has anyone ever had a cookie that didn't just tell them what they already knew?
"you will have success in your life"
"you give of yourself and others give to you"
Why don't they ever say anything useful like, " Don't stand there, a bird will crap in your hair," or "Don't date a guy with dark hair, he tends to cheat" ?
Sigh.....
It said: You will find what you search for is already in your hand
um.............
Well, to be honest, I'm not quite sure what that means as I was holding the fortune cookie. It was obviously profound as most fortune cookies are. However on the whole, I think this whole fortune cookie business has a cosmic flaw...you never seem quite able to get a decent one. I mean let's be honest here, most fortune cookies say crap like "the path you seek is right in front of you." Well yeah, if I was headed that direction in the first place then it probably was the path I was seeking. We see them as a sign of luck, but has anyone ever had a cookie that didn't just tell them what they already knew?
"you will have success in your life"
"you give of yourself and others give to you"
Why don't they ever say anything useful like, " Don't stand there, a bird will crap in your hair," or "Don't date a guy with dark hair, he tends to cheat" ?
Sigh.....
thoughts of a Chocolate Judas
Now I borrowed the term "chocolate Judas" from a very great writer. Nonetheless, I feel like it encompasses the feeling that we all have. It's that stage in our lives where we sit back and think, what the heck am I doing here, and why haven't I done what I said I was going to do. Yes, we all have dreams, plans, ideals that encompass every aspect of ourselves....what we do with them is another matter. Truthfully, dreams are stressful. This is mainly as they contain so many miniscule details we never even considered when we began to dream. We only see the outcome in the beginning, the road seems simple, a gliding stretch before us. As the difficulties arise, well...that's another matter really. Suddenly it wasn't as wonderful as we hoped. Don't misunderstand me, the dream is still alive, just fuzzy. We become insecure, our determination faulters. Perhaps the days, months, even a year or two pass, as we stare at the waning clock. The dream is lost in a thick fog; a haze we cannot pervade. One day someone will say something, anything really...in the flutter of an eyelash, the dream will be remembered. Perhaps determination will again well up within us; as now we've seen the other side. In that brief moment of clarity we will see that to dream is to be a Judas of some sort.
Friday, July 30, 2010
I'm still here!
Yes, readers, your other illustrious author is in fact here. I have been neglectful of my duties (having been verbally abused by some other author-type person...you know who you are), and I am now back.
I suppose you are wondering what the heck would take me away from such a life-altering phenomenon as blogging? Well, I'll tell you.
Remember back, way back to about last week....you know, when I wrote that blog oozing of self-pity and remorse? Hopefully you skipped it. ANYWAY....back to the big picture. I wrote this blog about England. Yeah, I wanted to go, but funding was...well...to put it nicely, funding was a bitch. It wasn't happening. After a whole summer of going back and forth, no sleep, many replays of Leap Year later (hey, don't knock it. I like the scenery), I couldn't figure it out. Yeah sure, everyone kept saying keep praying, you never know. In all my stupid negativity, I thought, nope, not happening.
Then last Friday happened. Somehow or another through the strange life sucking portal of government loans, I received all of my funding. I think I sat at my desk for a good half hour staring at the computer. I was in shock.
However this didn't include the extra I would need to survive. So school was paid for, but not without mass obligations to be paid for beforehand. I was in a state of obsession. I had to figure this all out. My parents couldn't pay for anything. I'm a preacher's kid, enough said.
Today rolled around. I was frantically trying to search the same stupid websites I had looked at before for some kind of miracle. Guess what? Loan companies don't specialize in those.
Then I got an email. It was from the financial aid guy in Oxford. He said he realized my predicament and was willing to work this out. I needed to prove the funds were legitimately needed in a letter. He could guarantee $5000 but probably not the $10,000 (yes, the UK is seriously expensive, and this was not money for shoes (ugh, that's a long story). So I wrote the letter.
Long story short...I AM GOING BACK TO OXFORD. I don't really know what else to say reader. My brain is fried, my nerves are non-existent, but I am going back.
I suppose you are wondering what the heck would take me away from such a life-altering phenomenon as blogging? Well, I'll tell you.
Remember back, way back to about last week....you know, when I wrote that blog oozing of self-pity and remorse? Hopefully you skipped it. ANYWAY....back to the big picture. I wrote this blog about England. Yeah, I wanted to go, but funding was...well...to put it nicely, funding was a bitch. It wasn't happening. After a whole summer of going back and forth, no sleep, many replays of Leap Year later (hey, don't knock it. I like the scenery), I couldn't figure it out. Yeah sure, everyone kept saying keep praying, you never know. In all my stupid negativity, I thought, nope, not happening.
Then last Friday happened. Somehow or another through the strange life sucking portal of government loans, I received all of my funding. I think I sat at my desk for a good half hour staring at the computer. I was in shock.
However this didn't include the extra I would need to survive. So school was paid for, but not without mass obligations to be paid for beforehand. I was in a state of obsession. I had to figure this all out. My parents couldn't pay for anything. I'm a preacher's kid, enough said.
Today rolled around. I was frantically trying to search the same stupid websites I had looked at before for some kind of miracle. Guess what? Loan companies don't specialize in those.
Then I got an email. It was from the financial aid guy in Oxford. He said he realized my predicament and was willing to work this out. I needed to prove the funds were legitimately needed in a letter. He could guarantee $5000 but probably not the $10,000 (yes, the UK is seriously expensive, and this was not money for shoes (ugh, that's a long story). So I wrote the letter.
Long story short...I AM GOING BACK TO OXFORD. I don't really know what else to say reader. My brain is fried, my nerves are non-existent, but I am going back.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Car Breakdown and a Waitress in Heels.
Yesterday, my plot for dominating my background check was foiled again. As I was stopped at an intersection my car completely died. A jump couldn't fix it, so good samaritans rushed over to help a crying girl. My car is 20 years old.. It's time for a new one. But of course, we cannot afford to get a new one (or certified pre-owned I don't care, just something newer). So, it was towed to our house and is now sitting all dressed up with nowhere it can go.
So, today Jacob drove me to my work (2 hours early) and I decided to check out this little cafe. Dating back to the 70s or so, with cups that looked as tacky as in the interior design I sat and drank some coffee. I ordered some sausage muffin thing with hasbrowns (which were disgusting and I LOVE hasbrowns!!). The waitress was wearing this white flat shoes with no back heel (rookie mistake) and her foot kept slipping out.
"I'm not used to flats," she commented, "I'm used to my heels! I know weird, huh? Waitressing in heels?"
Yes. That is quite odd. But would flat sneakers look good with her short skirt and tube top? Probably not.
Also, besides the waitress I was the only one under 55 and the only female...
So, today Jacob drove me to my work (2 hours early) and I decided to check out this little cafe. Dating back to the 70s or so, with cups that looked as tacky as in the interior design I sat and drank some coffee. I ordered some sausage muffin thing with hasbrowns (which were disgusting and I LOVE hasbrowns!!). The waitress was wearing this white flat shoes with no back heel (rookie mistake) and her foot kept slipping out.
"I'm not used to flats," she commented, "I'm used to my heels! I know weird, huh? Waitressing in heels?"
Yes. That is quite odd. But would flat sneakers look good with her short skirt and tube top? Probably not.
Also, besides the waitress I was the only one under 55 and the only female...
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
May I smell your anus?
Today I took my dog, Sophie, to the park which is a couple of blocks from my house. She hasn't been to the park for a long time because of her neglectful mother.
At the park there was a wide variety of dogs (which I did not expect because it was early in the morning). Since Sophie is part border collie, she tries to herd any thing that is small and moves (like our cat Nola, rabbits, miscellaneous chihuahuas, and any give bird). Today Sophie decided it was a great idea to herd three chihuahuas, Lula, Kitty and Baby (I think there might have been one call Pookie Love Bear or something like that). Unbeknownst to Sophie all three have been raised by a giant schnauzer, and believe me Oz was a giant. So, as Sophie was trying to dominate these little munchkins they all ganged up on her and chased her towards me. Her back hairs were standing up and they were all herding her. I think this must have come to her as a shock, because little guys weren't supposed to attack big guys. That's not how the jungle works.
After this playful episode a little basset hound (Stella) got loose from her mother and ran full speed (well, as much speed as a little basset hound with T-rex arms can run) towards me and Soph. Stella was checking out Soph and vice versa while Oz ran over to smell Stella. It was a dog butt sniffing fest and all were invited.
Fun times at the park today.
At the park there was a wide variety of dogs (which I did not expect because it was early in the morning). Since Sophie is part border collie, she tries to herd any thing that is small and moves (like our cat Nola, rabbits, miscellaneous chihuahuas, and any give bird). Today Sophie decided it was a great idea to herd three chihuahuas, Lula, Kitty and Baby (I think there might have been one call Pookie Love Bear or something like that). Unbeknownst to Sophie all three have been raised by a giant schnauzer, and believe me Oz was a giant. So, as Sophie was trying to dominate these little munchkins they all ganged up on her and chased her towards me. Her back hairs were standing up and they were all herding her. I think this must have come to her as a shock, because little guys weren't supposed to attack big guys. That's not how the jungle works.
After this playful episode a little basset hound (Stella) got loose from her mother and ran full speed (well, as much speed as a little basset hound with T-rex arms can run) towards me and Soph. Stella was checking out Soph and vice versa while Oz ran over to smell Stella. It was a dog butt sniffing fest and all were invited.
Fun times at the park today.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
The disappointment of rice pilaf
No one expects rice pilaf to be very good. It's just there as pretty filler, much like parsley or the forgotten lettuce pieces. So, if this is the view that we take on filler items, why would they desire to be any better? I think that if we take, say rice pilaf, into our responsibility very similar to a "White Man's Burden" we can improve rice pilaf into being a better side dish. It could be on the same level as raw cookie dough for a side dish. The novelty could be there! Then if rice pilaf feels our pleasant association with the eating the dish it's innards would bust out glory onto our taste buds. We need to make rice pilaf feel like being delicious and wonderful. Down to the last pilaf plate every one would have George Ramsey's approval.
Next time you sit down and start to eat rice pilaf think, "I am bettering society?" If you're not, then maybe you should start. And start with that tiny, insecure plate of rice pilaf. Eventually you can change disappointment into extreme satisfaction.
Next time you sit down and start to eat rice pilaf think, "I am bettering society?" If you're not, then maybe you should start. And start with that tiny, insecure plate of rice pilaf. Eventually you can change disappointment into extreme satisfaction.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Spiders, beetles, moths, and the like.
For some unknown reason bugs are attracted to me. Of recent I have had a tick on my leg, a spider in my ear, a moth attack me while I was trying to pee and to top it off, spiders hiding in my bath tub.
This all speaks to my frustration of being a bug magnet. Everyday I typically kill at least one spider, or two beetles, or something. See on the gross bug scale, two beetles equals approximately .5 of a spider. So, I if kill 4 beetles, it is an equilavent to 1 (one) total spider.
But these spiders aren't little. Oh no, in God's infinite wisdom He decided to make really big and creepy looking spiders that enjoy my home. I don't mind the awful arachnid if it's outside because that's where they belong. But once they infiltrate my home that's when I D-Day their butts.
All this to say that someday the problem will be no more. My new goal in life (as i share it with my husband) is to kill 1% of the world's bug population, which just happens to be living in my home.
This all speaks to my frustration of being a bug magnet. Everyday I typically kill at least one spider, or two beetles, or something. See on the gross bug scale, two beetles equals approximately .5 of a spider. So, I if kill 4 beetles, it is an equilavent to 1 (one) total spider.
But these spiders aren't little. Oh no, in God's infinite wisdom He decided to make really big and creepy looking spiders that enjoy my home. I don't mind the awful arachnid if it's outside because that's where they belong. But once they infiltrate my home that's when I D-Day their butts.
All this to say that someday the problem will be no more. My new goal in life (as i share it with my husband) is to kill 1% of the world's bug population, which just happens to be living in my home.
I'm laughing, but I'm not sure why. It seems to me to be the only thing to do at a moment like this. What moment is that reader? The absolute moment at which you finally realize how insanely obscure and wholly without rhyme or reason your life choices have been. Sometimes you have to wonder, did I make the right choice?
Last night in my many random ponderings I decided it was time to get out of my head and go do something. Well, I ended up working out for about 15 minutes before boredom set in. Then on the way home from the trails, I gave up and decided that a movie and some chocolate dairy-free (sigh) ice cream was the way to go. I got home not too soon after with A Single Man (2010) in my hand. I thought, Colin Firth and Matthew Goode (very nice :)) ? How great is this movie going to be.
Actually, it was pretty good. Just so you know, I might spoil the movie for you, but I won't talk about the end. It wasn't like what I usually watch, and to be honest the previews didn't even come close to describing it.
Colin Firth plays an English professor in Los Angelos, CA. The beginning shot of the movie lends itself to a man (Firth) swimming, or perhaps drowning. His body twists and contorts, but he is never able to reach the surface. Immediately a snowy enbankment appears in which a white car is flipped over. A man dressed in a long black winter coat lies beside the car, his features perfect aside from the blood sprinkled here and there on his face. Colin Firth walks across the snow and lays himself next to the body, but not before he leans down to kiss the man.
In "real life" Firth's character was not there to witness the accident that killed his partner (Goode). Eight months later he is merely surviving. In his obscurity he goes to work, talks about English Literature to his students, spends time with his best friend (Julianne Moore),goes home and tries to sum up the courage to kill himself.
In the end, he finds himself unable. He is unable to cope, but he is unable to do anything about it. It sounds depressing right? Actually, it was pretty entertaining watching him incesantly try to fluff a pillow in order to kill himself comfortably, or try to stuff his whole body into a sleeping bag so he didn't make a mess for the cleaning lady. That's just it, he couldn't do it. There was something, despite the decisions he made every day that kept him going. There was a little glimmer of hope, though he didn't know what it was. He found it in the way his best friend was there to share his misery, or the way a student reached out to him (granted it was.. ah.. little more than friendly, but hey, who am I to judge?). Anyway, the point is, he said something in the end that was...well...absolutely right. So here it is.
"A few times in my life, I've had moments of absolute clarity, when for a few brief seconds, the silence drowns out the noise, and I can feel rather than think, and things seem so sharp and the world seems so fresh. I can never make these moments last. I cling to them, but like everything, they fade. I have lived my life on these moments. They pull me back to the present, and I realize that everything is exactly the way it was meant to be."
If you haven't seen it, you should. I won't lie, it is not a good movie if you feel adverse at all to a gay couple, but it's pretty tame in that department. It's mostly about how George (Firth) deals with his loss. Very creative, and well...it's worth your time.
Last night in my many random ponderings I decided it was time to get out of my head and go do something. Well, I ended up working out for about 15 minutes before boredom set in. Then on the way home from the trails, I gave up and decided that a movie and some chocolate dairy-free (sigh) ice cream was the way to go. I got home not too soon after with A Single Man (2010) in my hand. I thought, Colin Firth and Matthew Goode (very nice :)) ? How great is this movie going to be.
Actually, it was pretty good. Just so you know, I might spoil the movie for you, but I won't talk about the end. It wasn't like what I usually watch, and to be honest the previews didn't even come close to describing it.
Colin Firth plays an English professor in Los Angelos, CA. The beginning shot of the movie lends itself to a man (Firth) swimming, or perhaps drowning. His body twists and contorts, but he is never able to reach the surface. Immediately a snowy enbankment appears in which a white car is flipped over. A man dressed in a long black winter coat lies beside the car, his features perfect aside from the blood sprinkled here and there on his face. Colin Firth walks across the snow and lays himself next to the body, but not before he leans down to kiss the man.
In "real life" Firth's character was not there to witness the accident that killed his partner (Goode). Eight months later he is merely surviving. In his obscurity he goes to work, talks about English Literature to his students, spends time with his best friend (Julianne Moore),goes home and tries to sum up the courage to kill himself.
In the end, he finds himself unable. He is unable to cope, but he is unable to do anything about it. It sounds depressing right? Actually, it was pretty entertaining watching him incesantly try to fluff a pillow in order to kill himself comfortably, or try to stuff his whole body into a sleeping bag so he didn't make a mess for the cleaning lady. That's just it, he couldn't do it. There was something, despite the decisions he made every day that kept him going. There was a little glimmer of hope, though he didn't know what it was. He found it in the way his best friend was there to share his misery, or the way a student reached out to him (granted it was.. ah.. little more than friendly, but hey, who am I to judge?). Anyway, the point is, he said something in the end that was...well...absolutely right. So here it is.
"A few times in my life, I've had moments of absolute clarity, when for a few brief seconds, the silence drowns out the noise, and I can feel rather than think, and things seem so sharp and the world seems so fresh. I can never make these moments last. I cling to them, but like everything, they fade. I have lived my life on these moments. They pull me back to the present, and I realize that everything is exactly the way it was meant to be."
If you haven't seen it, you should. I won't lie, it is not a good movie if you feel adverse at all to a gay couple, but it's pretty tame in that department. It's mostly about how George (Firth) deals with his loss. Very creative, and well...it's worth your time.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Bubbles
There are bubbles floating in and out of my screen today. Orbiting rainbows, blowing kisses against the print....
No, I am not on acid (prior accusation from a friend who read "maybe"), and slightly hungover doesn't count either. A fellow co-worker decided to show me how to place the bubble screen saver on my computer. Every minute or so, bubbles dance around. It's really quite entertaining for someone like me. Someone dying for distractions.
Today's distraction? Complete neuroticism (is that even a word?). Mild, but complete bouts of pure insanity in which I cannot focus on any one thing. I like to call this artistic licence. Whatever it is, it's absolutely crazy. Right now, for example, I should be working on prayer cards for a family. Am I? No, I am writing to you about the fact that I need to do this. Whilst this is all going on I am thinking about England (yes, reader, a last minute phone call last night, and the whole world is in uproar), and the fact that my friend was talking about how she has ADD (no I really don't think I do even though I did score sickeningly high on the quiz), and I am currently answering the phone ("Hiers-Baxley Funeral Services, how may I assist you?" ).....
Um, well, there is a lot more, but why would I do this to you reader?
Apparently I am just going to play with my pen while I figure out what else to say. Is there anything else? No, not really.
The trouble is focus. Who has it? Apparently no one I know....
No, I am not on acid (prior accusation from a friend who read "maybe"), and slightly hungover doesn't count either. A fellow co-worker decided to show me how to place the bubble screen saver on my computer. Every minute or so, bubbles dance around. It's really quite entertaining for someone like me. Someone dying for distractions.
Today's distraction? Complete neuroticism (is that even a word?). Mild, but complete bouts of pure insanity in which I cannot focus on any one thing. I like to call this artistic licence. Whatever it is, it's absolutely crazy. Right now, for example, I should be working on prayer cards for a family. Am I? No, I am writing to you about the fact that I need to do this. Whilst this is all going on I am thinking about England (yes, reader, a last minute phone call last night, and the whole world is in uproar), and the fact that my friend was talking about how she has ADD (no I really don't think I do even though I did score sickeningly high on the quiz), and I am currently answering the phone ("Hiers-Baxley Funeral Services, how may I assist you?" ).....
Um, well, there is a lot more, but why would I do this to you reader?
Apparently I am just going to play with my pen while I figure out what else to say. Is there anything else? No, not really.
The trouble is focus. Who has it? Apparently no one I know....
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!
So today, the only day, that I could go get my background check to apply for the Alternate Routes to Licensing AND to get my new driver's license is the only day that Utah places are closed. Why? Becuase of a ridiculous "holiday" that isn't even until tomorrow. Why on earth would state offices be closed today? It just shows once again how the religion of Utah has it's hands in many cookie jars.
Thanks for being absolutely ridiculous, Utah, it's much appreciated.
Thanks for being absolutely ridiculous, Utah, it's much appreciated.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Betrayer
Let's be upfront:
I don't see myself working in the chocolate factory for a long time. Honestly I really do enjoy working here. However, this is not where I see myself in 3 years.
So, I have taken the initial steps in becoming a licensed teacher. I have applied, now I have to wait for a confirmation of my elgibility to apply for a teaching position.
BUT... I feel like a betrayer. I've been filling out the applications at my desk during working hours (there's nothing to do here during the summer) knowing full well that I don't plan on being here for a long time.
I don't want to be here for Christmas (Valentine's Day was bad enough) and get stressed out. During Valentine's Day there was no time for lunch, when I got home I was mentally exhausted and I freakin' dreamt of shipping chocolates! I don't want this for Christmas (that's when we make 60% of our annual profit whereas Valentine's Day was only 25%).
However, if I do get hired into a teaching position, I'd have Christmases off and help out here anyway. But, I want to get hired before this Christmas thing happens.
So, here I am plotting with my selfish amibition at my side for betting my career. I've always wanted to be an English teacher, and there are plenty of schools near where I live. So, I figured why not go for it? There's nothing wrong with applying to better my career standing.
But I can't shake the feeling that I'm a sneaky chocolate Judas....
I don't see myself working in the chocolate factory for a long time. Honestly I really do enjoy working here. However, this is not where I see myself in 3 years.
So, I have taken the initial steps in becoming a licensed teacher. I have applied, now I have to wait for a confirmation of my elgibility to apply for a teaching position.
BUT... I feel like a betrayer. I've been filling out the applications at my desk during working hours (there's nothing to do here during the summer) knowing full well that I don't plan on being here for a long time.
I don't want to be here for Christmas (Valentine's Day was bad enough) and get stressed out. During Valentine's Day there was no time for lunch, when I got home I was mentally exhausted and I freakin' dreamt of shipping chocolates! I don't want this for Christmas (that's when we make 60% of our annual profit whereas Valentine's Day was only 25%).
However, if I do get hired into a teaching position, I'd have Christmases off and help out here anyway. But, I want to get hired before this Christmas thing happens.
So, here I am plotting with my selfish amibition at my side for betting my career. I've always wanted to be an English teacher, and there are plenty of schools near where I live. So, I figured why not go for it? There's nothing wrong with applying to better my career standing.
But I can't shake the feeling that I'm a sneaky chocolate Judas....
Life is strange..I can't say more than that
This morning I officially turned down the chance to go back to England and study this fall. If you're wondering, yes, it broke my heart. From the moment I began to type the first letter, to the moment I pressed send, I felt myself shatter. As I was at work, the only thing I could do was quietly get up, walk to the restroom, lock the door, and sob. I never expected to react so strongly to this.
Now, I have no intention of whining, nor meriting any sort of pity from you reader. In fact, I simply needed to say, even though I am now sitting here defiantly telling myself there is still a whole day, I can't deny that the only hope we all have is that there is a point or purpose. That someone out there knows exactly how we feel. I choose to believe this is God, whether or not you feel the same. In that I have to believe there is a reason, there is more than just disappointment. So maybe there will be some hurt today, but I'm going to live in the knowledge that it's only for a fleeting moment. I have no knowledge of the future, but I press ahead in the knowledge that there is a future.
Now, I have no intention of whining, nor meriting any sort of pity from you reader. In fact, I simply needed to say, even though I am now sitting here defiantly telling myself there is still a whole day, I can't deny that the only hope we all have is that there is a point or purpose. That someone out there knows exactly how we feel. I choose to believe this is God, whether or not you feel the same. In that I have to believe there is a reason, there is more than just disappointment. So maybe there will be some hurt today, but I'm going to live in the knowledge that it's only for a fleeting moment. I have no knowledge of the future, but I press ahead in the knowledge that there is a future.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
History of Bressague (We bleed awesome)
I'm almost definitely positive that you readers are wondering how exactly we got our start.
(In this narrative, please imagine that guy's voice who narrates movie trailers) The year 2003. Rainier High School in the wonderful state of Washington. Two young ladies were about embark on a 1.5 mile journey around their track for a P.E. exercise. An idea bloomed from boredom.
(my voice) "Jessica, we're awesome writers, we should start a magazine."
(Jessica) "Yeah that's cool. We could combine our favorite things!"
"Yeah! I could have a section about dogs... and you could have one about lip stick."
"What should we call it? We'd have to combine our last names."
"Okay, Spragussan? No, Bressangue? No, stupid...." momentary silence...
"Bressague!"
"I love it! It sort of sounds dirty... But it's cool. Let's do it."
7 YEARS LATER
(movie guy's voice) 7 years later they reconnected to find their passions still writhing for creative output. Bressague was still in their minds and writing was still in their hearts.
(Jessica) "We could start a blog"
(me) "yeah. Let's do it"
(movie guy voice) There you have it, the history of Bressague. As told by Angelina
(In this narrative, please imagine that guy's voice who narrates movie trailers) The year 2003. Rainier High School in the wonderful state of Washington. Two young ladies were about embark on a 1.5 mile journey around their track for a P.E. exercise. An idea bloomed from boredom.
(my voice) "Jessica, we're awesome writers, we should start a magazine."
(Jessica) "Yeah that's cool. We could combine our favorite things!"
"Yeah! I could have a section about dogs... and you could have one about lip stick."
"What should we call it? We'd have to combine our last names."
"Okay, Spragussan? No, Bressangue? No, stupid...." momentary silence...
"Bressague!"
"I love it! It sort of sounds dirty... But it's cool. Let's do it."
7 YEARS LATER
(movie guy's voice) 7 years later they reconnected to find their passions still writhing for creative output. Bressague was still in their minds and writing was still in their hearts.
(Jessica) "We could start a blog"
(me) "yeah. Let's do it"
(movie guy voice) There you have it, the history of Bressague. As told by Angelina
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Bleeding Profusely From...
So, when you're on birth control and you get the placebo pills, you're like "okay monthly bill ready to pay you anyday now." However, once you get to the last placebo and Aunt Flo hasn't arrived to pay a visit you're like "Dang, hope it's not twins". But, the last two times I've only had a tiny pit stop visit from Flo and it totally freaks me out, I am always worried that I'm going to get pregnant! My husband and I aren't ready for kids yet.
I mean I am not ready to share my Chipotle burritos........
Does anyone have this anxiety? How do you deal with it?....
I mean I am not ready to share my Chipotle burritos........
Does anyone have this anxiety? How do you deal with it?....
Monday, July 19, 2010
maybe...
This morning I thought...
What if. What if an M &M dropped from my cup and rolled onto the floor. What if that M&M was like a magic bean and a tree sprouted out through the floor and up through the roof. And what if someone just let the phone ring and the papers pile up while they climbed that tree. What if at the top there was no busy street, or hoards of people moving too quickly, praying to get through the day.
What if time, what if everything, it all just stopped.
What if that someone just kept climbing that tree. And at the top Someone would feel the sand against their hands; the seagulls gutteral cries. As they pulled themselves up they would find the white sand stretch for miles. They would see the rocks molding into caves, and hear the surf rolling over the land. Someone would sit on that beach and look out into the waves. And while they heard nothing but the sea, Someone would wade into that water. They'd watch the creatures scatter about, and begin to swim amongst them.
And as the sun began to set, a neon pink against the liquid horizon, Someone would sit under the shade of that big tree. They'd try to remember before time seemed to stop, but they wouldn't be able to recall a thing. So as the sun would finally sink beneath the sea, Someone would rest their head against the tree, closing their eyes..nothing but the tide keeping time.
What if M &Ms were like magic beans....I suppose...maybe.
What if. What if an M &M dropped from my cup and rolled onto the floor. What if that M&M was like a magic bean and a tree sprouted out through the floor and up through the roof. And what if someone just let the phone ring and the papers pile up while they climbed that tree. What if at the top there was no busy street, or hoards of people moving too quickly, praying to get through the day.
What if time, what if everything, it all just stopped.
What if that someone just kept climbing that tree. And at the top Someone would feel the sand against their hands; the seagulls gutteral cries. As they pulled themselves up they would find the white sand stretch for miles. They would see the rocks molding into caves, and hear the surf rolling over the land. Someone would sit on that beach and look out into the waves. And while they heard nothing but the sea, Someone would wade into that water. They'd watch the creatures scatter about, and begin to swim amongst them.
And as the sun began to set, a neon pink against the liquid horizon, Someone would sit under the shade of that big tree. They'd try to remember before time seemed to stop, but they wouldn't be able to recall a thing. So as the sun would finally sink beneath the sea, Someone would rest their head against the tree, closing their eyes..nothing but the tide keeping time.
What if M &Ms were like magic beans....I suppose...maybe.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Fish Out of Water (but with lungs instead of gills)
Almost a year ago I married my wonderful husband. He moved to Salt Lake City about 10 years ago and has been there ever since. We met three years ago while I was living in Portland,Ore. Once married I moved with him to SLC where I currently am. And I am a fish out of water.
Yesterday our carpet delivery man stated that they'll be delivering the carpet a day early due to the holiday. I replied "What holiday?" with a shocked look he said, "Pioneer day."
Obviously, I'm not Mormon.
I miss my Portland. I miss being able to walk everywhere, sipping on lattes at independently owned coffee shops. When I see people completely tattooed and wearing patchouli I feel at home. They are a breath of fresh air here.
Because Salt Lake City is has the second most plastic surgery figures [outdone by L.A. (I feel so insecure that I couldn't make the letters bigger)] there are billboards all around stating that the already lovely ladies of Utah need breast enhancement, or surgery for their droopy eyelids or whatever... It's oppressive.
This culture that is fixated on perfection leaves those who do not fall into that category, or who chose to not be in that category, completely ostracized.
One of my friends claims that she is in love with the hippies here in Utah. I'm sorry but Utah does not even come close to the glory of Portland's finest.
Since the culture is completely dominated by the Mormon norm, people speak as though am I Mormon. Well I don't understand this culture.
I am doing my best to understand it as it is for all it's faults and beauty as well, because I chose to live here so I must accept what the culture is no matter how I do not agree with the norms.
Suffice it to say that here I chose to be who I am despite how that looks to others. I wear a tattered sweater that I've had for 4 years around. I wear my birkenstocks, I don't wear make -up (not only for the fact that I just don't like it but because I chose to not fit in) I will wear sweats to the grocery store. Here my little part is a silent rebellion against the oppressive norm of the culture in which I am immersed.
Luckily, my friends (all my friends, save for 2 or 3 are in the church of christ which I attend) are more focused on improving their spiritual well-being rather than their looks. Perfection is not what to strive for, because we are all human and fail. However, being our best is what to strive for. For God, for our families, for ourselves, our perfect is our best however that looks, however that feels for individuals.
Thank goodness for imperfections.
Sending love to the Northwest.
Angelina
Yesterday our carpet delivery man stated that they'll be delivering the carpet a day early due to the holiday. I replied "What holiday?" with a shocked look he said, "Pioneer day."
Obviously, I'm not Mormon.
I miss my Portland. I miss being able to walk everywhere, sipping on lattes at independently owned coffee shops. When I see people completely tattooed and wearing patchouli I feel at home. They are a breath of fresh air here.
Because Salt Lake City is has the second most plastic surgery figures [outdone by L.A. (I feel so insecure that I couldn't make the letters bigger)] there are billboards all around stating that the already lovely ladies of Utah need breast enhancement, or surgery for their droopy eyelids or whatever... It's oppressive.
This culture that is fixated on perfection leaves those who do not fall into that category, or who chose to not be in that category, completely ostracized.
One of my friends claims that she is in love with the hippies here in Utah. I'm sorry but Utah does not even come close to the glory of Portland's finest.
Since the culture is completely dominated by the Mormon norm, people speak as though am I Mormon. Well I don't understand this culture.
I am doing my best to understand it as it is for all it's faults and beauty as well, because I chose to live here so I must accept what the culture is no matter how I do not agree with the norms.
Suffice it to say that here I chose to be who I am despite how that looks to others. I wear a tattered sweater that I've had for 4 years around. I wear my birkenstocks, I don't wear make -up (not only for the fact that I just don't like it but because I chose to not fit in) I will wear sweats to the grocery store. Here my little part is a silent rebellion against the oppressive norm of the culture in which I am immersed.
Luckily, my friends (all my friends, save for 2 or 3 are in the church of christ which I attend) are more focused on improving their spiritual well-being rather than their looks. Perfection is not what to strive for, because we are all human and fail. However, being our best is what to strive for. For God, for our families, for ourselves, our perfect is our best however that looks, however that feels for individuals.
Thank goodness for imperfections.
Sending love to the Northwest.
Angelina
..Wait...what?
I've heard, and you've probably been told, that thinking out loud is a constructive way to solve a problem. Just by blurting your thoughts out in the open, the answer will come to you. Is this true? Maybe. I tend to side with the perspective that says it's just another subtle hint of God's infinite sense of humor. I suppose you're not convinced, and why should you be? Let me explain, or perhaps give you a few examples of immense verbal idiocy.
#1. Relax, it's not like I expect a ring from you or anything. (Yep, and you just made sure you'd never get one).
#2. You need a soloist huh? Yeah, I sing. I guess I could learn it all by tomorrow. ( Sure cause your non Catholic background makes you an expert on Catholic hymns).
#3. Seems to how I lost my keys, I guess I can say hi to you now (oh, this one was a gem).
#4. When I said, take the food back to the apartment, I was just thinking about taking the food back to the apartment. (yeah, you just burst that bubble).
#5. Oh please, you think men have to worry about the way they look. HA! Women have it so much worse (insert male ego boosting comment here).
Now, naturally I have made this sound far worse than it probably is. This is a list compiled over quite a space of time. I do not believe, or rather have made it a study not to meet anyone capable of constant undesirable utterances. But, perhaps I'm quick to judge. Perhaps it is just another divine sign that we're human. Sooner or later we will all be met by Captain Oblivious; a moment in which our brains somehow disconnect from our lips, and the words spoken to us have lost all real meaning. Sooner or later, we will all be struck with a moment of pure insanity where we say exactly what we think the instant we think it.....only to be met by these moment defining words... "Wait, what?"
#1. Relax, it's not like I expect a ring from you or anything. (Yep, and you just made sure you'd never get one).
#2. You need a soloist huh? Yeah, I sing. I guess I could learn it all by tomorrow. ( Sure cause your non Catholic background makes you an expert on Catholic hymns).
#3. Seems to how I lost my keys, I guess I can say hi to you now (oh, this one was a gem).
#4. When I said, take the food back to the apartment, I was just thinking about taking the food back to the apartment. (yeah, you just burst that bubble).
#5. Oh please, you think men have to worry about the way they look. HA! Women have it so much worse (insert male ego boosting comment here).
Now, naturally I have made this sound far worse than it probably is. This is a list compiled over quite a space of time. I do not believe, or rather have made it a study not to meet anyone capable of constant undesirable utterances. But, perhaps I'm quick to judge. Perhaps it is just another divine sign that we're human. Sooner or later we will all be met by Captain Oblivious; a moment in which our brains somehow disconnect from our lips, and the words spoken to us have lost all real meaning. Sooner or later, we will all be struck with a moment of pure insanity where we say exactly what we think the instant we think it.....only to be met by these moment defining words... "Wait, what?"
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Oh, so now we're getting fancy are we?
Alright, so now, as the general consensus seems to be photos of us in Rome, I have given it my best shot. Here I am at the Vatican. Who am I? Just someone who really got a kick out of seeing peacock statues surrounding the outer gardens of a "church." So naturally I had to take a picture of it. The Vatican is a trip, definitely. Wow, I will try to get some of the pictures on here. If you haven't been there, my explanations will be wholly fruitless. Regardless, whoever you are reading this blog, you should go to Italy. It's a beautiful city where guards grace the entrances of Prada (no, I can't afford it, but we thought it'd be fun to go in), seas of people (I'll add that photo later) swarm the fountains, small children with angelic smiles steal your friend's camera, old men who don't speak English randomly explain to you that you need to keep your hands in your pockets at all times due to pickpockets..... no really, it's lovely.
Actually, I was in England first. LOVED that. Those will be my next photos. However, in homage to my fabulous blog buddy, I have posted the picture from Italy.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Photo of One Writer Angelina
This picture is almost to amazing to look at. It's me in Italy eating gelatto. I almost didn't post this; just because similar to the human effects of seeing God or hearing His voice, I was afraid you (that's YOU reader) would suffer some human defect due to the amazing-ness of this photo. Just be aware... There will be more times when I might pop up and you might not even know. Dog Poop
So I have had bouts of laziness during my lifetime. One that has to be the best, most ingenious and creative bout is this last spring.
After heavy snows had covered the neglected dog poop in our backyard (which was also covered by about 3 layers of fallen leaves) I decided that I'd clean the back.
I decided, that since there was no way I'd be able to clean up the leaves AND the dog poop, I got out the leaf blower.
After attaching all the necessary gizmos I was ready for dog poop clean-up. In a matter of minutes (actually about 60 of them) I finally blew all the dog poop and the leaves in the vacant lot behind us where it has laid ever since.
The moral of the story: Sometimes laziness can make one resourceful. Good job.
After heavy snows had covered the neglected dog poop in our backyard (which was also covered by about 3 layers of fallen leaves) I decided that I'd clean the back.
I decided, that since there was no way I'd be able to clean up the leaves AND the dog poop, I got out the leaf blower.
After attaching all the necessary gizmos I was ready for dog poop clean-up. In a matter of minutes (actually about 60 of them) I finally blew all the dog poop and the leaves in the vacant lot behind us where it has laid ever since.
The moral of the story: Sometimes laziness can make one resourceful. Good job.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
What Poverty Makes One Do
Have you ever seen the Disney classic Aladdin?
Not exactly the story of my life or anything, but he did some crazy things to feed Abu and himself. Probably some psycho food combinations like hummus and mango covered with some gross Arabic poverty sauce or something like that.
My lunch is somewhat similar becuase my husband and I haven't been foraging around at Smith's Marketplace, for a week or so, and our account is a little.. shall we say... like a lowly streetrat.
I'm down to my last tapioca pudding, my broccoli is wilty (yet still edible with some sharp cheddar cheese) and although I am grateful for the lunch, I'm thinking "Man, I wish I had some (insert delicious food here) for lunch today.
The little monkey on my shoulder is telling me to just indulge and eat chocolate for lunch, since I work in a factory, but I can't. I mean it's way too expensive to eat healthy food, and the chocolate is free, but I'm actually full and I haven't even touched my tapioca yet. (That's what she said).
Oh wait, it's been touched. I should probably Tweet that.
Not exactly the story of my life or anything, but he did some crazy things to feed Abu and himself. Probably some psycho food combinations like hummus and mango covered with some gross Arabic poverty sauce or something like that.
My lunch is somewhat similar becuase my husband and I haven't been foraging around at Smith's Marketplace, for a week or so, and our account is a little.. shall we say... like a lowly streetrat.
I'm down to my last tapioca pudding, my broccoli is wilty (yet still edible with some sharp cheddar cheese) and although I am grateful for the lunch, I'm thinking "Man, I wish I had some (insert delicious food here) for lunch today.
The little monkey on my shoulder is telling me to just indulge and eat chocolate for lunch, since I work in a factory, but I can't. I mean it's way too expensive to eat healthy food, and the chocolate is free, but I'm actually full and I haven't even touched my tapioca yet. (That's what she said).
Oh wait, it's been touched. I should probably Tweet that.
Tuesday's the new Monday
Haven't you heard? Tuesday is the new Monday. No, it's true. You see, by Monday you're prepared. You know the week is coming. So what do you do? You set your clothes out the night before, remember to feed the cat, put some bread in the toaster, grab your travel mug and a pear for later, and hey, you even have 10 minutes to spare. One quick dance around the room to your favorite little tune, and you're ready to go.
You pull out of your drive, cringing just a little. However, just as you brace for the worst, you open your squinting eyes just a little, and....nothing. With the pure stretch of road before you, all you can see is the promise of successful day. By now, you're feeling pretty good.
"Take that, Monday," you think triumphantly to yourself. God has smiled on your quest to conquer Monday morning.
Then it happens.
Tuesday.
3: 41 AM- The cat strikes. Perhaps to some it is endearing to have their cat shove it's little head in their face, purring like a disfunctional boat motor. I am not one of these.
3:42 AM- Your brain has somehow interpretted the assault as your alarm. You close your eyes defiantly, but now all you can think of is work, paying rent, that relationship you aren't even sure you're in, how you never realized the air conditioner is so obnoxiously noisy....on and on it goes....
Now let's just skip ahead.
6:10 AM- Yeah, it's time to get up, but who needs a shower right? You're sleep deprived. You can sleep in for ten more minutes.
6:45 AM- It appears ten minutes is a long time. You fly out of bed, and race to the shower, almost taking out the poor cat as you do.
7:00 AM-8:00 AM- Now you can't find a clean towel, then your make-up bag overturns thus inviting Fuzz to run away with the eyeshadow brush, which causes you to realize that you forgot to plug in your curling iron, the dress you wanted to wear accidentally was hung up with the clean clothes, your toaster was never turned on, your shoes somehow were shoved in the dark crevaces beneath the bed, last but not least, that careless move of thowing your keys heaven knows where, has finally come to bite you in the..well...you get the idea.
8:05 AM- So, late to work, dismayed, dejected, carrying limp toast, you sit at your desk in relief and revel at life's absurditites. Then, just for a moment you smile. After all, you still have the rest of day.
You pull out of your drive, cringing just a little. However, just as you brace for the worst, you open your squinting eyes just a little, and....nothing. With the pure stretch of road before you, all you can see is the promise of successful day. By now, you're feeling pretty good.
"Take that, Monday," you think triumphantly to yourself. God has smiled on your quest to conquer Monday morning.
Then it happens.
Tuesday.
3: 41 AM- The cat strikes. Perhaps to some it is endearing to have their cat shove it's little head in their face, purring like a disfunctional boat motor. I am not one of these.
3:42 AM- Your brain has somehow interpretted the assault as your alarm. You close your eyes defiantly, but now all you can think of is work, paying rent, that relationship you aren't even sure you're in, how you never realized the air conditioner is so obnoxiously noisy....on and on it goes....
Now let's just skip ahead.
6:10 AM- Yeah, it's time to get up, but who needs a shower right? You're sleep deprived. You can sleep in for ten more minutes.
6:45 AM- It appears ten minutes is a long time. You fly out of bed, and race to the shower, almost taking out the poor cat as you do.
7:00 AM-8:00 AM- Now you can't find a clean towel, then your make-up bag overturns thus inviting Fuzz to run away with the eyeshadow brush, which causes you to realize that you forgot to plug in your curling iron, the dress you wanted to wear accidentally was hung up with the clean clothes, your toaster was never turned on, your shoes somehow were shoved in the dark crevaces beneath the bed, last but not least, that careless move of thowing your keys heaven knows where, has finally come to bite you in the..well...you get the idea.
8:05 AM- So, late to work, dismayed, dejected, carrying limp toast, you sit at your desk in relief and revel at life's absurditites. Then, just for a moment you smile. After all, you still have the rest of day.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Tonight we dine in hell.
Probably one of the best quotes from any movie. Not that I'd actually like to dine in hell, but it's the concept that is intriguing. Not that long ago, while sitting in church, I heard this story of a feast in heaven and a feast in hell. It goes something like this, only with a little twist of Angelina thrown in. Please enjoy.
"One day I died. I traveled to heaven and to hell to learn something about something.
When I arrived in hell, there was a huge table filled with every kind of delicacy imaginable. The hell dwellers had long forks attached to their hands. Yet try as they may, they couldn't bring the forks to their mouths. In front of the huge banquet, they were all famished, and wraith-like. Because they could not eat the wonderful feast.
"I traveled up to heaven to see what the feast would be there. Dawn's light flooded in around the table and warm light became a blanket around me. I went to see the heaven dwellers. At the table they were all laughing and having a wonderful time. The long table was filled every kind of delicacy known. The heaven dwellers also had long forks attached to their hands. On the contrary to hell, the heaven dwellers were well fed. As I looked closer to see what they were doing differently I was amazed.
"They were feeding each other. Each dweller filled their fork and fed it to the person across from them.
"Leaving heaven and traveling nowhere, I stopped to ponder these separate events. I came to this conclusion: We all need each other to survive. If we think only of ourselves, we perish. If we think of others we prosper."
"One day I died. I traveled to heaven and to hell to learn something about something.
When I arrived in hell, there was a huge table filled with every kind of delicacy imaginable. The hell dwellers had long forks attached to their hands. Yet try as they may, they couldn't bring the forks to their mouths. In front of the huge banquet, they were all famished, and wraith-like. Because they could not eat the wonderful feast.
"I traveled up to heaven to see what the feast would be there. Dawn's light flooded in around the table and warm light became a blanket around me. I went to see the heaven dwellers. At the table they were all laughing and having a wonderful time. The long table was filled every kind of delicacy known. The heaven dwellers also had long forks attached to their hands. On the contrary to hell, the heaven dwellers were well fed. As I looked closer to see what they were doing differently I was amazed.
"They were feeding each other. Each dweller filled their fork and fed it to the person across from them.
"Leaving heaven and traveling nowhere, I stopped to ponder these separate events. I came to this conclusion: We all need each other to survive. If we think only of ourselves, we perish. If we think of others we prosper."
Nomad's creed
Today I stand up proud to say "I am a nomad." I am among those who cannot stay in one time zone for more than 3 months at a time. I do not make plans ( unless you count the three seconds before my next decision). I vow never to make up my mind unless I have reviewed all the options, and even then I reserve the right to change it.
Though I sound as though I have no direction in life, it is merely a myth. I have plenty of direction ranging from North, South, East to West. I have no roots, but instead, I grow wherever I choose to be.
I am a nomad.
Though I sound as though I have no direction in life, it is merely a myth. I have plenty of direction ranging from North, South, East to West. I have no roots, but instead, I grow wherever I choose to be.
I am a nomad.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Bits and Pieces of Unfinished Work
I had never really considered the idea of falling off the face of the earth. But, today…today it seemed plausible. Even, enjoyable, perhaps. It had been raining in sheets; spattering against the window in violent bursts. It seemed even the rain, nor the ivy pressing fervently against the glass, could bear the thought of being a part of the world outside my flat. With the explosion of each drop, a loud echo sounded. I sat there staring, utterly unmoved. I wouldn’t pity the elements, not today. It had threatened rain for the past week, and each day men and women, armed with various umbrellas of red, black, and floral prints, called its bluff. It was only a matter of time before the impregnated clouds burst in a fury. I sighed, a grieved heavy sigh for my overstuffed brown chair as I pulled a ripped another rogue thread from the arm. It would only be a matter of time before I would have to replace the furniture as well. It seemed a shame to change the furnishings after Allistar Hadley had disappeared six months ago. Well, perhaps disappeared hadn’t really been the word for it. No, been reclaimed, I would think. Of course no one knew about him per say, and he was in fact a quiet, gentle sort of man. He’d been a fine scholar; A member of The College. I’d only seen him from a distance, and every now and again at the history library rummaging around the A section. I’d felt a sort of connection to the man. Two days before his “death”, I walked to the history library in search of a critical essay concerning the fall of Lucifer. It had, of course, been categorized within the A section. So naturally, there would be an off chance Dr. Hadley would be riffling through, pursing his lips, making the enormous silver mustache he sported, profound. I made my way down to the corner of Broad Street, and allowed myself one found glance towards the pub just beyond the bookstore. Perhaps later, I comforted myself as I walked through the large wooden door and handed my id card to the old guard.
“Mr. Bode,” he nodded as he handed me back my card. “Haven’t seen you in a few days. Though I believe I mighta seen ya over towards the White Horse. Like a good ale myself now and again. Though I think maybe I ought not to keep ya waiting. Got a lot of books to read I’m sure. I remember when I was a scholar here, not too long ago it was. Parked my bike just over there,” he said, looking fondly at the black metal bike rack. The sun glimmered off the red rust the chipped black paint couldn’t cover. “Yes, my young lad, I was an Oxford scholar. Studied Milton in fact. Don’t remember why I decided to quit on day. Just didn’t seem important anymore. That business with Lucifer…angels and demons…silly nonsense. I go to church, I do. I’m a good man, but..silly nonsense really. I reckon if God saw fit to really create angels and demons…well, I might not say anymore.”
I realized later I probably smiled a little too gratefully. I took my card in my hand and began to climb the winding metal staircase to the top floor. Even in my youth I had a fascination with winding staircases. It was a pity they didn’t build them as often. I began to frown, and step a little slower as I ran my hand along the rail. The old man had studied Milton. That wasn’t improbable, just strange. I hadn’t declared my scholarly intentions necessarily, but I was tampering with Milton at the moment. Though I never found it taxing, nor would I have left the college as he claimed. I rather, had been drawn to it by a lecture taught by Dr. Allister Hadley. He was mad as a hatter, but he’d painted quite an interesting world with his ideas. His lectures had always been full to the brim with students, taking courses on religion or not. Sort of a revolutionary I suspected; though most professors wrote him off as brilliant but over taxed. My mind fell back to the old man again. He’d also said he couldn’t remember why he’d left the university. In fact, he didn’t seem to be upset by any of it at all. I shook my head. This really wasn’t the time to go on pondering about some old man’s misguided attempt to be nostalgic. I was here to work, and work I would.
I finally reached the top of the stairs, surveying the mass array of books that littered the tall shelves. It was actually funny of all of it. I had been at Oxford for three months and I’d hardly seen any other of the one hundred libraries than this one. Of course I knew every pub for a ten mile radius, but that was another matter all together. Hardly what one would call surprising knowledge for a student. I pushed my way passed a line of five students, their arms bulging with biographies, and other leather bound facts. I turned the corner into a familiar room. It smelt musty and old. I liked it. I quickly grabbed what I was looking for. I had scouted the books out the day before, and felt no desire to haul them back to my own study. As I placed them in front of me, quizzically looking at their covers, I heard a grunt. A tall, well built man with thick waves of silver hair rumpled his mustache as he paced back and forth between the rows of books.
“Suppose it’s gone,” he spoke to himself in adamant whispers. “If I could only remember what I had written.” His frustration softened. “I suppose I remember soon enough.”
With that, he smiled at me and began to walk away. I hadn’t meant to watch him, or eaves drop as it were; though I hadn’t realized he had seen me. The whole process had been fascinating. I had realized half way through the man’s search; it was his book he was looking for. He couldn’t remember what he’d written? More so, I had just seen him with that book the day prior as I recalled. How does a man forget what he not only studied, but wrote himself? An image of Dr. Hadley holding a pen suddenly sprang into my thoughts. There had been no notebook of any kind beside him. Students often, against all policy, underlined, or wrote notes in the margin of books. A useful tool passed down which guided future students to the proper citations, even the proper supplementary materials. It was a noted and worthy practice I often engaged in myself. However this had been different. The author had begun writing in his own book. To himself? To the students? Still turning the pages of my own notebook, I continued to stare at the bookcase where Dr. Hadley had just been. Luckily, my eyes reverted down to my watch, noting the time at almost exactly a quarter to three. I had fifteen minutes to walk to the lecture hall, and presumably would be sitting on the floor. Consequently it would be Dr. Hadley’s lecture I was headed toward. I wonder if I would be able to focus, or rather would he?
I pushed myself out of my slumped state in the brown chair. The vanilla scented pipe smoke I had now been in the habit of using (after the several severe complaints from the house keeper of cigarette smoke being “too nasty a smell for a respectable home”) billowed throughout the room. I had been so lost in thought I hadn’t noticed myself puffing away. I looked down at the papers in my hand. I obviously wasn’t going to finish scanning the materials this evening. Damned shame really. If I had had the wherewithal to remove myself from this all consuming state of pure laziness, I might in fact venture into the pub fray with my work. There was heat, and moreover, there was beer; A good tonic to an apparently useless afternoon. Though, perhaps the study of Milton was not entirely useless, but rather tiresome. I did not need to further my knowledge of a fictional Satan. I lifted myself and hurriedly shoved my arms into my coat, grabbing my umbrella from the stand. The trip to the Eagle and Child was uneventful to say the least. It was raining too hard to walk, the bus was filled with the usual characters: students making a last minute trip to the assorted libraries, women grumbling about the weather as they held their Sansbury groceries close lest anyone steal them away. I suppose I had paid more attention to it than I realized. People watching was an obscure habit of mine. One I was told often enough in school was a rude undertaking, and should immediately be stopped. Several years and threatenings later, I still hadn’t kicked the habit. Ah, well. I ran through the rain and pulled at the large door to the pub. I was immediately bombarded with the stark smell of beer, baking grease, and firewood. I readily had to admit the heat and the smell were already working in my favor. I hadn’t realized I was hungry I watched a plate of fish and chips pass me by to the room directly to my right. A group of men, scholars of some sort no doubt, sat aggressively arguing. One man’s brows knit in a ferocious manner as he shouted.
“Tolkien was not writing merely fiction! He was demonstrating truths I tell you. Not your simplistic “small t” truths either. I mean absolutes! And what are we gentleman, but interested in the absolute!”
As the server placed the sizzling plate before him, the only absolute he appeared to be concerned with was the displacement of the malt vinegar by one of his colleagues.
I shook my head, and made my way through the narrow corridor to the bar.
“Hello Sam. I’m starving. You think I could order a beer and a big plate of fish and chips? Smells fantastic.”
A lanky arm shoved a tall glass of beer my way, and Sam smiled a wide, mocking smile. “Haven’t seen you since last night, mate. All but given you up for dead.”
I scoffed. I wasn’t entirely amused. I was working nonstop, but that didn’t mean I had to do it completely sober. The study I and Dr. Hadley had been so fond of was unfortunately a very dull, uninspiring place to work. It was a miracle he had formulated his theories there. Perhaps that’s what drove the old Crocker mad in the first place. I hadn’t planned on living in his home, but I suppose no one expected him to leave it either. They had all said, and I agreed, there was nothing more fitting than having one of his own students (though I’d only known the man from a distance) keeping the place up. It had proved an entirely satisfactory home. And, other than this afternoon I had been completely engrossed in the idea of Milton’s personification of Satan to care where the previous owner had vanished to. I shook my head, no; it wasn’t the personification necessarily, but the humanization.
“Mr. Bode,” he nodded as he handed me back my card. “Haven’t seen you in a few days. Though I believe I mighta seen ya over towards the White Horse. Like a good ale myself now and again. Though I think maybe I ought not to keep ya waiting. Got a lot of books to read I’m sure. I remember when I was a scholar here, not too long ago it was. Parked my bike just over there,” he said, looking fondly at the black metal bike rack. The sun glimmered off the red rust the chipped black paint couldn’t cover. “Yes, my young lad, I was an Oxford scholar. Studied Milton in fact. Don’t remember why I decided to quit on day. Just didn’t seem important anymore. That business with Lucifer…angels and demons…silly nonsense. I go to church, I do. I’m a good man, but..silly nonsense really. I reckon if God saw fit to really create angels and demons…well, I might not say anymore.”
I realized later I probably smiled a little too gratefully. I took my card in my hand and began to climb the winding metal staircase to the top floor. Even in my youth I had a fascination with winding staircases. It was a pity they didn’t build them as often. I began to frown, and step a little slower as I ran my hand along the rail. The old man had studied Milton. That wasn’t improbable, just strange. I hadn’t declared my scholarly intentions necessarily, but I was tampering with Milton at the moment. Though I never found it taxing, nor would I have left the college as he claimed. I rather, had been drawn to it by a lecture taught by Dr. Allister Hadley. He was mad as a hatter, but he’d painted quite an interesting world with his ideas. His lectures had always been full to the brim with students, taking courses on religion or not. Sort of a revolutionary I suspected; though most professors wrote him off as brilliant but over taxed. My mind fell back to the old man again. He’d also said he couldn’t remember why he’d left the university. In fact, he didn’t seem to be upset by any of it at all. I shook my head. This really wasn’t the time to go on pondering about some old man’s misguided attempt to be nostalgic. I was here to work, and work I would.
I finally reached the top of the stairs, surveying the mass array of books that littered the tall shelves. It was actually funny of all of it. I had been at Oxford for three months and I’d hardly seen any other of the one hundred libraries than this one. Of course I knew every pub for a ten mile radius, but that was another matter all together. Hardly what one would call surprising knowledge for a student. I pushed my way passed a line of five students, their arms bulging with biographies, and other leather bound facts. I turned the corner into a familiar room. It smelt musty and old. I liked it. I quickly grabbed what I was looking for. I had scouted the books out the day before, and felt no desire to haul them back to my own study. As I placed them in front of me, quizzically looking at their covers, I heard a grunt. A tall, well built man with thick waves of silver hair rumpled his mustache as he paced back and forth between the rows of books.
“Suppose it’s gone,” he spoke to himself in adamant whispers. “If I could only remember what I had written.” His frustration softened. “I suppose I remember soon enough.”
With that, he smiled at me and began to walk away. I hadn’t meant to watch him, or eaves drop as it were; though I hadn’t realized he had seen me. The whole process had been fascinating. I had realized half way through the man’s search; it was his book he was looking for. He couldn’t remember what he’d written? More so, I had just seen him with that book the day prior as I recalled. How does a man forget what he not only studied, but wrote himself? An image of Dr. Hadley holding a pen suddenly sprang into my thoughts. There had been no notebook of any kind beside him. Students often, against all policy, underlined, or wrote notes in the margin of books. A useful tool passed down which guided future students to the proper citations, even the proper supplementary materials. It was a noted and worthy practice I often engaged in myself. However this had been different. The author had begun writing in his own book. To himself? To the students? Still turning the pages of my own notebook, I continued to stare at the bookcase where Dr. Hadley had just been. Luckily, my eyes reverted down to my watch, noting the time at almost exactly a quarter to three. I had fifteen minutes to walk to the lecture hall, and presumably would be sitting on the floor. Consequently it would be Dr. Hadley’s lecture I was headed toward. I wonder if I would be able to focus, or rather would he?
I pushed myself out of my slumped state in the brown chair. The vanilla scented pipe smoke I had now been in the habit of using (after the several severe complaints from the house keeper of cigarette smoke being “too nasty a smell for a respectable home”) billowed throughout the room. I had been so lost in thought I hadn’t noticed myself puffing away. I looked down at the papers in my hand. I obviously wasn’t going to finish scanning the materials this evening. Damned shame really. If I had had the wherewithal to remove myself from this all consuming state of pure laziness, I might in fact venture into the pub fray with my work. There was heat, and moreover, there was beer; A good tonic to an apparently useless afternoon. Though, perhaps the study of Milton was not entirely useless, but rather tiresome. I did not need to further my knowledge of a fictional Satan. I lifted myself and hurriedly shoved my arms into my coat, grabbing my umbrella from the stand. The trip to the Eagle and Child was uneventful to say the least. It was raining too hard to walk, the bus was filled with the usual characters: students making a last minute trip to the assorted libraries, women grumbling about the weather as they held their Sansbury groceries close lest anyone steal them away. I suppose I had paid more attention to it than I realized. People watching was an obscure habit of mine. One I was told often enough in school was a rude undertaking, and should immediately be stopped. Several years and threatenings later, I still hadn’t kicked the habit. Ah, well. I ran through the rain and pulled at the large door to the pub. I was immediately bombarded with the stark smell of beer, baking grease, and firewood. I readily had to admit the heat and the smell were already working in my favor. I hadn’t realized I was hungry I watched a plate of fish and chips pass me by to the room directly to my right. A group of men, scholars of some sort no doubt, sat aggressively arguing. One man’s brows knit in a ferocious manner as he shouted.
“Tolkien was not writing merely fiction! He was demonstrating truths I tell you. Not your simplistic “small t” truths either. I mean absolutes! And what are we gentleman, but interested in the absolute!”
As the server placed the sizzling plate before him, the only absolute he appeared to be concerned with was the displacement of the malt vinegar by one of his colleagues.
I shook my head, and made my way through the narrow corridor to the bar.
“Hello Sam. I’m starving. You think I could order a beer and a big plate of fish and chips? Smells fantastic.”
A lanky arm shoved a tall glass of beer my way, and Sam smiled a wide, mocking smile. “Haven’t seen you since last night, mate. All but given you up for dead.”
I scoffed. I wasn’t entirely amused. I was working nonstop, but that didn’t mean I had to do it completely sober. The study I and Dr. Hadley had been so fond of was unfortunately a very dull, uninspiring place to work. It was a miracle he had formulated his theories there. Perhaps that’s what drove the old Crocker mad in the first place. I hadn’t planned on living in his home, but I suppose no one expected him to leave it either. They had all said, and I agreed, there was nothing more fitting than having one of his own students (though I’d only known the man from a distance) keeping the place up. It had proved an entirely satisfactory home. And, other than this afternoon I had been completely engrossed in the idea of Milton’s personification of Satan to care where the previous owner had vanished to. I shook my head, no; it wasn’t the personification necessarily, but the humanization.
Domination Lion
Not too often there comes a time when the opportunity to domiante approaches. She rears her head like a lion roaring and shows herself in the most vibrant of ways.
Today the Domination Lion spoke to me candidly.
Here, the V Chocolates Factory of Salt Lake City, UT, I regulate little munchkins who come in and participate in the most mind-blowing of tours.
"Hey, don't eat that!!"
"Get your mouth away from the chocolate spicket!"
"Did you just fart? That'll ruin the chocolate smell for awhile."
Story of my life.
But today I got the opportunty to dominate in the field of hair nets. Every kid had to wear one and gently shove every strand of their long flowing locks in the casket of embarassment for the half hour of the tour.
But at the end all was well with life when each of the 35 elementary school kids got to walk away with a bag of free goodness.
Now that's what I call a day.
Today the Domination Lion spoke to me candidly.
Here, the V Chocolates Factory of Salt Lake City, UT, I regulate little munchkins who come in and participate in the most mind-blowing of tours.
"Hey, don't eat that!!"
"Get your mouth away from the chocolate spicket!"
"Did you just fart? That'll ruin the chocolate smell for awhile."
Story of my life.
But today I got the opportunty to dominate in the field of hair nets. Every kid had to wear one and gently shove every strand of their long flowing locks in the casket of embarassment for the half hour of the tour.
But at the end all was well with life when each of the 35 elementary school kids got to walk away with a bag of free goodness.
Now that's what I call a day.
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