Now I borrowed the term "chocolate Judas" from a very great writer. Nonetheless, I feel like it encompasses the feeling that we all have. It's that stage in our lives where we sit back and think, what the heck am I doing here, and why haven't I done what I said I was going to do. Yes, we all have dreams, plans, ideals that encompass every aspect of ourselves....what we do with them is another matter. Truthfully, dreams are stressful. This is mainly as they contain so many miniscule details we never even considered when we began to dream. We only see the outcome in the beginning, the road seems simple, a gliding stretch before us. As the difficulties arise, well...that's another matter really. Suddenly it wasn't as wonderful as we hoped. Don't misunderstand me, the dream is still alive, just fuzzy. We become insecure, our determination faulters. Perhaps the days, months, even a year or two pass, as we stare at the waning clock. The dream is lost in a thick fog; a haze we cannot pervade. One day someone will say something, anything really...in the flutter of an eyelash, the dream will be remembered. Perhaps determination will again well up within us; as now we've seen the other side. In that brief moment of clarity we will see that to dream is to be a Judas of some sort.
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